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Twenty years ago it was records companies who threw stupid Christmas parties

but while they've died Adland has taken over the task. Another Tongue, a fucking Voice Over company, threw a stupidly over the top (and over subscribed) bash at Cirque de Soir off Carnaby street, complete with champagne that never ran out. Highlight of the evening was seeing just how much botox Gordon Ramsey has stuffed into his face. He now looks like a he's had Joan Rivers' face sewn onto a scrotum.

deep_stoat 12:54, reply

Wonderful

spank_daley 14:54, reply

Tony Way gone to Tantastic

thatevilwoman 13:05, reply

philanderer 21:07, reply

qm 17:21, reply

spank_daley 17:40, reply

Twice cooked.................

........ on a bed of thyme and white wine and garnished with Pâté de Foie Gras?

majicman 23:50, reply

stan2a10shun 20:54, reply

Jed Zeppelin

mrsix 16:38, reply

it looks like jedward's hair is receding

in a couple of years they'll look like simon price.

__________ 19:48, reply

Hah!

deep_stoat 21:36, reply

Ooh how ghastly!

dawnsyndrome 17:19, reply

bed zeppelin

__________ 16:46, reply

Are they looking at the woman and thinking, 'Not bad for an old bird'?.

plasticflamingo 10:00, reply

Dead Zeppelin

qm 7:15, reply

Bread Zeppelin

bad_horsey 9:49, reply

Battenberg

Shureley?

stan2a10shun 10:21, reply

Or, for the gloomier souls out there

bad_horsey 10:36, reply

*typeface rage*

qm 17:05, reply

__________ 19:43, reply

Someone's been updating Pau Danan's Wiki Page

"Michael Jackson once claimed on itv Saturday mornings CD:UK that Paul was his favourite Hollyoaks actor"

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Danan

monkeyhat 10:31, reply

Blimey

that old Jacko/Fred West story could be true then.

soapy_handerton 16:12, reply

Mr Tumble's Dad

John Gosden Guy Fletcher discovered Chris De Burgh.

soapy_handerton 19:48, reply

De Burgh's a lovely crackpot

"I have found myself able to cure people with my hands. I met someone in the West Indies who was not able to walk. I put my hands on him and he was able to get up."

In 1993 he revealed that he had warned his wife, Diane, not to move her spine if she should break her neck in a riding accident. The following day Diane, the inspiration for Lady In Red, fell off her horse and adhered to his advice, saving herself from paralysis.

Rather wonderfully he forgets to mention that as his wife lay in bed recuperating from her broken neck he started fucking the nanny.

rogermoore 16:02, reply

He also had the "pleasure" of shagging Sarah Ferguson.

He referred to it as being in "the royal box".

cerealrapist 21:16, reply

The Lady In bred

powermaster 7:02, reply

oh very good!

petsco 9:09, reply

And his cousin, also called Guy Fletcher, played keyboards for Dire Straits. The father wrote a number of choons for Elvis, also...

plasticflamingo 8:41, reply

And that's got to be a pretty valuable catalogue he has. I remember being taken, as a child, for Sunday lunch at Jack Fishman's house. Jack's primary profession was as a Newspaper Editor; but he had a profitable 'sideline' in songwriting. And what a sideline that was. I seem to remember him saying that he had designed and built his (very beautiful) house near Bishop's Avenue with the royalties from one song - his English lyrics for If Paradise was Half as Nice...Lovely, modest, kind man.

plasticflamingo 10:52, reply

He touched your special place, didn't he?

deep_stoat 10:57, reply

Special needs?

Pity the Sound tech on the latest tour of a once famous 2Tone label ska covers band [with a smattering of original tunes] who lasted approximately 30 seconds into the first gig on this current tour. After trying to convince the somewhat difficult lead singer during the weeks of pre-production that it was about time he replaced his radio mic [the one he's been using for years and has the technology of a kids tomy two way radio from argos] the damned mic went and failed 10 seconds into show 1. Ever the pro a brand spanker was thrust into the stubborn ones hands within seconds, whilst 'old faithful' was slung into the rig. Much against the tour managers advice the poor [well it's cost him about 5k in wages] sound tech was given his marching orders après gig, being blamed by the hissy fitting one for the failure! Such a bad attitude, maybe a case of 'too much, too young'?

flange 12:02, reply

Steve Craddock of Ocean Colour Scene/Paul Weller fame has replaced Roddy Radiation on the latest tour- now down to 4 original members

barry 16:38, reply

You forgot to put 'visionary' before Jerry Dammers...

plasticflamingo 8:35, reply

Oscar-winning Doctor Who gettin his buns handed to him this morning. At Gail's Bakery in Crouch End.

drunken_boht 12:33, reply

He knows better than to shop at

dirty Dunns

pink_oboe 16:05, reply

Expect a war to be fought on that very front

The KFC in Crouch End, much maligned by its well-heeled denizens, has finally closed down. A pitched battle is brewing over use of the site; on the one side, the Mumsnet massive who are doubtless seeking to augment the existing JoJo Mama Bebe / Petit Bateau with a branch of Seraphine or a McLaren shop selling juggernaut prams to house the inevitable IVF triplets;

On the other side is the hipsters who, having been squeezed out of Dalston and are now spreading like paste along Tufnell Park and Archway, are creeping uphill by capillary attraction, lured in by the newly-opened Heirloom (with its menu of not just heritage, but endangered vegetables. Cunts.) and the burgeoning sprawl of coffee shops.

And Christ, what am I posting here? Sorry. Arnold Schwarzenegger has a habit of trying to blag insane discounts from high-end shops and if one isn't forthcoming, is quite happy to go to another branch. Even if it's in a different continent. And he goes after the least obvious things; a crocodile-skin-coated chair, handbags and - overheard in a London boutique - "I vant to buy a pullover".

bad_horsey 9:18, reply

Crouch End mums would never buy a McClaren...

...they are SO common.

7zark7 9:11, reply

Look, just apologise

and maybe you'll get your job back.

babycatboy 12:30, reply

is it ranking roger?

__________ 12:26, reply

No, Rankin' John Major

7zark7 22:59, reply

FOF still recounts how, filming red carpet for a theatre show opening a few years back

the great and the good were arriving but the crowd really went wild when JM arrived. Maybe it wasn't just Edwina he was throwing it out to.

deep_stoat 23:16, reply

The disappointing thing is that, in person, he's a REALLY nice bloke. It was once said that, if he could have shook the hand of every member of the electorate, he would have won by a landslide; and that's probably true.

plasticflamingo 8:34, reply

The old saying that you only miss them when they are gone

rings true. But then there's Blair. And Brown. Anything before Major has thankfully carked it.

stan2a10shun 22:15, reply

It was probably Jerry-built...

plasticflamingo 13:40, reply

So this morning comes the news that

Ride are reforming (no surprise given how Slowdive are having to use wheelbarrows to take the cash from their reunion home). Who next? I was hoping for Northside Northern Uproar but that's looking unlikely now one of them has gone and died.

Just as long as it isn't the Mary Whitehouse Experience.

deep_stoat 10:39, reply

How could he, as a pedestrian, "collide" with a lorry? It is the other way round - this message is me channeling Uncle Whuppity

Jeff Fletcher, who had been part of well-known Manchester rock band Northern Uproar, was a pedestrian on Wellington Road South, Stockport centre, when he collided with a lorry on Monday afternoon.

powermaster 9:33, reply

Also deadpoolin'

Jimmy Ruffin: family broken-hearted

Mike Nichols: graduated

soapy_handerton 19:14, reply

There will be

Northern Uproar at that

soapy_handerton 10:46, reply

Shamen you

bad_horsey 10:54, reply

Oh e's good

spank_daley 12:18, reply

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