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It's Doctor Who tomorrow,

with lizard-on-girl kissing. The reliably shit Lizo Mzimba has already managed to piss off Peter Capaldi with an interview where he harped on about the decision to go with such an "elderly" new Doctor, and mispronounced Capaldi's name throughout. When Mzimba tried to grab Capaldi a few days later for a red carpet chat, Capaldi signed autographs throughout and refused to look at Mzimba. Och, it's small beer but LM is developing a rep for needlessly cocking up his very easy gig as BBC Entertainment corr. They put him on News24 to obit Rik Mayall, and he repeatedly said Mayall had his quad accident in the 80s. Which obviously wasn't the case - and so easy to fact-check. Especially since Mzimba must remember the 80s from the first time. Born in 1968, he's a "middle-aged" 45.

celtiagirl 11:31, reply

I remember when U2 played Glastonbury, and their tax avoidance was all over the news...

... LM had an interview with them, and of course didn't ask about the tax issue at all. Probably because the press officer told him not to. First class journalist.

7zark7 15:58, reply

Doctor W.H.O.

The time-honoured 'fist bump' greeting is rapidly on the decline; instead, middle-class kids from Brentwood who have watched Attack The Block too many times (ie once) yout('h) who subscribe to the gangsta way of life are instead adopting the 'Kinshasa Handshake', a mode of greeting that originated during the first outbreaks of Ebola in Zaire. This involves bumping elbows to allow minimum body contact. Expect rapid adoption of this by hipster types at this year's carnival who, despite displaying many of the symptoms following ingestion of a four-times-rewarmed goat curry, are sadly unlikely to die of a filovirus. Unless they spend their gap year in Africa (or, indeed, County Donegal.

bad_horsey 14:10, reply

Maybe you'll be in luck...

... and there'll be an ISIS stage at carnival this year.

7zark7 16:00, reply

I like these two posts

thebestnameshavegone 13:31, reply

A certain UK female singer's Adderall addiction is getting out of control.

Still, it helped shift that weight.

cerealrapist 11:25, reply

Shaun Ryder

Has used Tramadol to shift the weight in the past. Well, and smack, obviously.

soapy_handerton 17:00, reply

That the self-opinionated female singer

who regularly checks into the Capio Nightingale clinic near Marylebone, in an attempt to rid herself of various substance addictions? She's not at all well liked by staff or the other patients there.

philanderer 14:39, reply

It hasn't cured her Downs Syndrome

whats_the_beef_chief 13:56, reply

The addiction's hardly under control.

A car crash waiting to happen. No wonder her manager walked away from it all.

cerealrapist 21:16, reply


dawnsyndrome 15:51, reply

I wonder if Cilla knows Cliff's codename?

dawnsyndrome 9:25, reply


In other news, looks like Super Mario is back Paddy Power just suspended betting.

deep_stoat 9:51, reply

Has a cat

took a shit on his head?

stan2a10shun 14:51, reply

hi malky

car_snow_gin 10:18, reply


deep_stoat 10:26, reply

fantastic news

the anfield fruitcake gods taketh away, and they giveth

car_snow_gin 11:01, reply

martin degville's let himself go

__________ 19:25, reply

Sigue sigue arf

deep_stoat 21:37, reply


deep_stoat 15:39, reply

She tweets plenty

but not usually about Berkeley Square...

philanderer 15:43, reply

jesus christ, enough’s enough already

can everyone please STOP posting ‘gossip’ about celebrity big brother???

__________ 19:31, reply

If this is quorn apols, but Mark Wright keeps going back for sex with Lauren Goodger despite their estrangement.

She always gives him a rusty trombone and he can't get enough of it or something.

Also, I remember the Hollywood Hooker who wrote "You'll Never Make Love in this Town Again" had a whole chapter about Gary Busey, calling him "Scary Abusey" as he liked nothing better to scrag the faces off prostitutes.

dawnsyndrome 13:15, reply

OKAY Danan update time

Paul needs to stop putting his own phone number on his drama group's Facebook page. Overheard on the train: "Nah mate, it's just another text calling me a bell end"

soapy_handerton 21:30, reply

Eastenders theme bar opens in Folkestone

"Simon From Eastenders" is bringing a bit of london to folkestone opening a bar. At previous pubs he's been quoted as saying "a few of the eastenders lot want to come down" here and here, though not here, I am still searching for more). But not this time, even made up people have some standards.

Oh no, am devastated that Cliff Richards might be caught up in some nasty business, I never saw that one coming.

Aha possibly "Simon From Eastenders" was possibly an extra mostly here he does not have a character name but he must have been a named character in an Eastenders once. My wife's hairdresser is an extra, he got a named part in "The Tunnel". But then they cut his part (ouch).

pauly 13:23, reply

We're HEADS!!!

dawnsyndrome 15:19, reply

drunken_boht 15:28, reply

pink_oboe 9:38, reply

that's a baked potato he's got in there

__________ 10:34, reply

he's just covering up the scars.

mrsix 10:55, reply

scars all round

car_snow_gin 11:33, reply

funnily enough, JFK had a similar thing to that nose happen to him too

except with him it was the whole back of his head.

__________ 19:18, reply

Cocktails there are horrible

I had to force mine down.

downtownmanagua 7:22, reply

It's Friday:

Lost in Asda, a little girl goes crying to the security guard.

"Calm down, little girl, it’s OK. Just tell me – what’s your mum like?"

"Big cocks and vodka."

curlywurly 16:13, reply

We still discussing Eastenders?

Jessica Taylforth is a bit old to be crying in Asda, surely...

philanderer 18:37, reply

I wonder if she ever met

Jeremy Savile?

soapy_handerton 0:24, reply

and in more Eastenders and bar historical news...

BITD Martina Mccutcheons father was the window cleaner at 36 Portland Place London. He arrived after lunch, drunk and then fell out of the window while cleaning (very eastenders thing to do). Broke his arm and went to hospital for a scan. Tried to sue the employers for damages. The employers....the British Institute of Radiology.

powermaster 13:40, reply

yours is better connected to eastenders than mine

I can find no mention if this guy being in eastenders apart from in his own press releases. it's the front page of our local paper though. 404

He's shocked and saddened by the death of robin williams though so he must be alright

pauly 13:55, reply

And Martine's muvver...

… ran the quite scary Railway Tavern in Bethnal Green when I lived nearby. An excellent selection of alcoholics always available.

zygmunt 13:48, reply

Sad day when that pub closed

They flocked there to say goodbye. www.facebo ... 772253567/

johnfuego 14:46, reply

Heh, heh, heh, etc ...

stan2a10shun 15:11, reply

Pat's cumface is beautiful...

dawnsyndrome 8:59, reply

drunken_boht 14:39, reply

Aprospos of nothing at all, I remember

someone on here, years ago, saying that a certain unmarried pop star who had been stopped by the cops for doing something fruity with a young gentleman. This was back in the 70s.

tamara_bumpdeeay 14:03, reply


how could you when the Interwebs hadn't been invented in the 70s?

mrsix 13:33, reply

I like how the "view gallery" caption is right across his eyes, just like you'd see on the picture of a sex-offender.

angry_anteater 13:38, reply

mad conspiracy connections

This wikipedia article says Barry George was resident at a school in Sunningdale (and cites this guardian article). That ties up all the loose ends for me, definitely.

Don't google cliff richards, you'll be stuck there all day.

pauly 15:01, reply

rogermoore 15:52, reply

Rich Johnson poster?

deep_stoat 23:09, reply

no outing!

pauly 17:16, reply

Get em while they're hot

veidgegiple 14:33, reply

"historic impropriety"

Cliff might have phrased that a little better.

rogermoore 14:14, reply

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