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There's a cracker on this year's Black List

'Wonka', a dark reimaging of Willy Wonka by Jason Micallef - whose sole previous credit was for writing a movie called 'Butter', a film about a girl who makes butter carvings. Which starred Jennifer Garner. Not promising.

'Yellowstone Falls' sounds good though. A cross between The Littlest Hobo and Dawn of the Dead.

soapy_handerton 23:51, reply

Poor the Mandy Rice-Davies deaded...

dawnsyndrome 11:44, reply

She would do, wouldn't she?

stan2a10shun 19:11, reply

I would do.

deep_stoat 13:15, reply

Not been a good year for people appearing in Ab Fab

Alexandra Bastedo, Christopher Malcolm, Kate O'Mara, Clarissa Dickson Wright, now Mandy Rice-Davies. All dead. *tries to recall if Piers Morgan appeared, and hopes he did*

agnetha 13:00, reply

Poor the Big Julie.

halloween_jack 7:39, reply

I long for the day somebody is able to post similar about cunting TOWIE

Educating Joey Essex: Peshawar special anyone?

spank_daley 16:34, reply

Your wish,

qm 16:39, reply

Ha, you fucking cunt :)

spank_daley 17:06, reply

Butter carvings?

arch_crippledick 11:12, reply

I Can't Believe It's Not...........

.......BUTTer

majicman 17:28, reply

downtownmanagua 20:30, reply

Christmas spots - Paris Hilton (I know, I thought she was dead too) in Hamley's.

Buying SEX TOYS. I imagine.

And this.

deep_stoat 20:45, reply

Radiobitch

What was the show that had a riff on announcements at Reading station - with a comedy voice barking, "Reading? Reading?"

The Goons or ITMA or something?

Sorry, I'll post a decent otter in a bit.

bad_horsey 16:09, reply

The boring answer is

Terry Wogan's Radio 2 morning show in the early '80s

john_lewis_partnership 13:38, reply

Woman's Hour.

plasticflamingo 16:26, reply

I don't think it's that, that's more drama isn't it?

But have an otter anyway.

bad_horsey 17:15, reply

Pffft! I'll see your "water slide otter" ..............

......and raise you with a raft of Otters (collective noun when in water)

majicman 23:05, reply

And David Bradly, having a kebab in Dalston last night. The old hipster.

deep_stoat 12:59, reply

David Bradley is a very lovely man

post-theatre performance he's more likely to mix with plebs at the bar than backstage. Tolerates Potter and Doctor Who fans, and, like Tom Baker, isn't averse to buying drinks and crisps for them student types.

fayekorgazm 10:58, reply

thatevilwoman 16:01, reply

paul weller's let himself go

__________ 8:18, reply

... Having said that, Robert Lindsay did much the same

on Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. Though for different reasons....

fayekorgazm 11:01, reply

pigcity 13:01, reply

car_snow_gin 21:51, reply

plasticflamingo 19:44, reply

philanderer 19:18, reply

deep_stoat 14:30, reply

humphrey_plugg 17:11, reply

mrs_ivy_trellis 21:43, reply

__________ 8:54, reply

pink_oboe 14:06, reply

stan_ogdens_nutgone_flake 21:20, reply

I wonder if he looks like his Father?

mrsix 13:27, reply

Think you'll find that's...

Bernard Godfrey Saint John Delaney

keggykeegle 10:40, reply

Would.

mr_david 9:50, reply

Oooh me too.

The son works at Waitrose in Canary Wharf. I always say hello and expose my cloaca.

dawnsyndrome 10:11, reply

I like to expose my Hugh Janus

mr_david 15:56, reply

Nice bit of Xmas pud...

Although I have to say, Jeremy ****'s looking well here.

weishaupt 11:09, reply

Hugh Scullery...

dawnsyndrome 16:38, reply

Charlie Brooker's looking old

mrsix 11:03, reply

So he does have a huge clock.

deep_stoat 20:46, reply

Unfortunately it's always 6.30.

dawnsyndrome 17:27, reply

Stephen Hawking is at the Royal Opera House tonight

My wife who is there also just texted me.

pauly 17:09, reply

*Change/Fluff*

dawnsyndrome 11:51, reply

Oyster card / two fifty pee pieces

What does everyone else have in their pockets?

spank_daley 12:47, reply

Outed

curlywurly 14:30, reply

He's been a regular patron for many years (I worked there when I was a student and that is more than twenty years ago). The head of the Front of House staff at the time firmly belonged in the 'Does he take sugar?' brigade. I can confirm that the Professor can roll he eyes with great eloquence.

plasticflamingo 8:45, reply

FOF was working at a theatre where WNO were doing an opera many years ago.

The performance was delayed by 40 minutes with no explanation, house lights left up. Then Two security guards rushed then MP Michael Portillo in and to his seat. Everyone just stared in complete silence until one man shouted out "We've been waiting for that cunt?".

deep_stoat 14:12, reply

Wonderful!

Though I know it was you, you cultured cunt. Stop trying be street.

spank_daley 14:54, reply

Michael Portillo is indeed a nazi lover of the works of Wagner. Other regulars included Germaine Greer (very nice indeed) and Jeanette Winterson (very odd indeed).

plasticflamingo 19:40, reply

Portillo's not *exactly* a nazi, just uncommonly interested in the punctuality of trains.

hack_daniels 20:39, reply

Hawking was sat a few seats away from the wife

As the lights went down for the show to start they heard him saying "turn it off, turn it off" (you're all doing the voice in your heads aren't you?) to get his assistant to turn his screen off as it was lighting the place up.

Michael Gove was there too.

pauly 8:50, reply

Wagner man. is it?

Just remembered Portillo too hearkens to the call from the ancestral German forests - more than most greasy dagoes do anyway.

hack_daniels 9:44, reply

All the nice boys like a bit of Wagner

mrs_ivy_trellis 10:09, reply

Someone's hung over

There's a sackable headline on the mail website today- 'Miley displays nasty gash'

soapy_handerton 15:29, reply

Colin Firth looking like he'd had quite enough of Xmas shopping, with child strapped to his chest, French Connection, Angel.

drunken_boht 17:28, reply

what the hell is this all about?

__________ 12:08, reply

*fires a volley over Starsailor's coffin*

hack_daniels 15:34, reply

The boy whose skin fell off trying to lick Nell McAndrew? *Roy Walker shakes head*

thatevilwoman 14:17, reply

Captain Insensible?

spank_daley 13:46, reply

deep_stoat 14:46, reply

Yakety-yak

mrs_ivy_trellis 13:00, reply

Help ma boab!

bad_horsey 14:01, reply

Fergus Henderson is looking well.

humphrey_plugg 15:05, reply

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