Habib has the Helmland X Factor
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It's one week til the Cheltenham Gold Cup - Kauto
Star vs Denman part three: the decider. Even
Denman's people are talking up Kauto Star. An
each-way bet on Denman or Imperial Commander might
be a more sensible. Sign up now and get a 25 quid
free bet... ready for the Grand National:
http://bit.ly/btZsVL
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"I'd like to think I'm a good role model.
I've got loads of education" - Paloma Faith
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POPBITCH _ _ _
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| '_ \ / _ \| '_ \| '_ \| | __/ __| '_ \
| |_) | (_) | |_) | |_) | | || (__| | | |
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|_| |_| 12.03.10 ISSUE 489
Free every week: to subscribe/unsubscribe
go to http://www.popbitch.com
To send us stories email: hello@popbitch.com
* Habib has the Helmand X Factor
* Mark Owen should learn from anagram
* Charts: Tiny Tempah is still number one
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>> Same as it ever was <<
Clifford and Cowell could learn from Beckham
Wednesday's demolition of Milan by Manchester
United was all about Wayne Rooney. He is, at
this moment, truly the biggest and best thing
in football. Yet Rooney's star turn didn't make
much of an impression on the front pages
of the papers. David Beckham's return to Old
Trafford was greeted by much warmth, but was in
itself nothing but a sideshow. But by picking
up and wearing the anti-Glazers green and
gold scarf, Beckham found himself on the front
page, bumping Rooney's exploits to the back.
In September 2003, a 17 year-old Rooney
became the youngest ever player to score for
England - against Macedonia. By the time the
next day's papers were printed, journalists
were quoting that David Beckham had received
death threats. No surprises - Rooney
got the back pages while Beckham got the front.
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No longer a gruesome twosome? OK! and Express owner
Richard Desmond and wife, if lurid rumours
circulating tabloid newsrooms are to be believed.
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>> How deep is your love <<
Mark Owen gets turned over by the tabloids
Poor Heat. Magazine timings can be so cruel.
This week's issue (which hit shelves on Tuesday)
features a quiz that will help you decide if your
man is a love rat.
If you answer "no" to the very first question "Do
you think your man might be a love rat?" it says;
"Congratulations, you are married to Mark Owen!"
Thursday's Sun cover story? "Mark Owen: my
10 affairs".
Oops.
FYI: An anagram of Mark Owen is Wank More.
(We still love you, Mark, but perhaps
there's something to think about there.)
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This issue of A&R Registry reports that 14 A&R
executives left their jobs within the last eight
weeks while only five new A&R Execs were hired.
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>> Big Questions <<
What football fans want to know this week
Which Premier League footballer should be
hoping more than anyone else that England
win the World Cup? Rather than stir up any
more trouble for the squad two kiss and tells
have been put on ice until after South Africa.
And then no-one would want to go after a
successful team, would they?
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Ian Brown spotted in Munich airport at the weekend
wearing an Ian Brown t-shirt.
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>> Lost boy <<
RIP Corey Haim
A few years ago Popbitch was involved with
a TV show about Victoria Beckham. As was
Corey Haim. He seemed likeable, though somewhat
damaged. He'd come through coke and alcohol
attachments, ballooned in weight and was
existing on prescription drugs and cigarettes.
In fact his need for a cigarette was so great
that at one stage in his interview Corey lit
a fag, put it to his mouth, and then looked
down at the ashtray. Where he'd left his
cigarette, in order to have his hands free
to light another cigarette.
He said he got into drugs when filming Lost Boys.
He wanted to be cool, "but I didn't really know
what cool was, I don't think... I wanted to try
something that sounded cool... got hooked
and just had a whirlwind of hell."
"Tomorrow's never promised to us, but I pray to
God that at least tomorrow I don't have to go
to something or ingest something to feel OK,
which is the great thing about not being
hooked on anything."
If that's not poignant enough, Corey's only
legacy in the tabloids is as Some Bloke who
once went out with Victoria Beckham.
Corey on Posh Spice:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTKoT_TsPZE
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Celtiagirl writes: "A few years back at an autograph
fair in LA, Mickey Rooney signed pictures for $10,
Gary Busey would pose with you for $15. For $5, you
could get both Coreys, Haim and Feldman."
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>> Sunday bloody Sundays <<
Habib has the Helmand X Factor
It can't be much fun right now in the forces
in Afghanistan. In the past few days everyone's
lives have been disrupted just so Gordon
Brown, Douglas Alexander and Bob Ainsworth
can come for a pre-election visit. Or
"Combat Tourism" as the forces call it.
Friday is about the best day of the week in
Helmand. It's when everyone stops for prayers.
Saturdays, a day off for many Afghanis, is
not such a good one for the troops. They
know it's the day that the next batch of
IEDs are being made and laid. And Sundays?
Well, thanks to this fact, in Camp
Bastion hospital they are just known as
Holy Shit Sundays. You can imagine why.
Let's hope the insurgents in Helmand are
distracted for a while by Afghan Idol, as
local boy Habib has made it into the final
three. He's rocking the Pashtun stylee
against the two other more western sounding
finalists from Kabul.
Go Team Habib!
http://bit.ly/afNSkc
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Nick Park took Wallace and Gromit to the Oscars,
but says he always get in trouble at airports with
them, as plasticine is on the scary explosives list.
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>> Shady characters <<
How proper celebrities do baggage reclaim
Katie Price is such a star that not only does
she wear sunglasses indoors, so do all of her
entourage! After her return from hanging around
Oscar parties in LA, standing at Heathrow's
baggage reclaim it seemed that all of Team
Katie were decked out in regulation shades.
Oh, everyone except Alex. He seemed to be
on a different flight. We guess that must be
what you do with "the help".
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Seasick Steve has just applied for membership at
Blacks club, Soho. People there seem to call him
Seasick, rather than Steve.
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>> Double trouble <<
Denmania or Kauto the Star
Next week has the best racing meeting in
the whole world, Cheltenham Festival. Next
Friday's Gold Cup sees Kauto Star v Denman
part III: The Decider. Over the past two years
you've probably noticed us banging on about
these two - quite simply because the rivalry
between these two stable mates and amazing horses
is about as good as sport gets.
This year we've already had Katie vs Peter,
Terry vs Bridge and Hurt Locker vs Avatar.
It's time to join Team Denman or Team Kauto.
From Tuesday we'll bring you our Guide to
Cheltenham, how, where and what to watch to get a
flavour of the action, plus tips on what might
win. Take out five £5 bets and get five free
£5 bets with Betfair.
Our five:
Tues 1.30 Blackstairmountain e/w, Weds 3.20 Twist
Magic, Thurs 2.40 Voy Por Ustedes, 3.20 Big Buck's
Fri 3.20 Denman or Imperial Commander e/w.
Bet: http://bit.ly/btZsVL
Forget the TV, go to the races:
http://www.cheltenham.co.uk/index.html
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Congratulations to Shaun Ryder, who got married
last weekend. We're told Shaun was wearing the same
tie for his collaboration with Intastella in 1993.
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>> How young pony club <<
University claims about singer
Anon writes:
"Reading Popbitch about Jay Sean's real age, I
was reminded that Tahita Bulmer, singer of New
Young Pony Club, always claims in interviews to
be 29. This is puzzling. I was at Sussex University
with Tahita between 1994-1997. I am 35. Unless
Tahita was some sort of child prodigy, who went
to university at the age of 14, she must be
about my age. While we were at Sussex she was
the singer in my friend's Brighton-based band,
Alphawave, which disintegrated acrimoniously
in the late 90s. Curiously, her time at Sussex
University and time in this band are never
referred to in interviews."
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Peter Andre likes to have Sade CDs playing when he's
having sex, according to his recent conquest.
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>> Popbits <<
Stuff for this week
1. Operator Please are a bunch of Australian
teens who you might know from the rather
fabulous Ping Pong song a couple of years back.
They've made their new song, Logic, available
to download free so give them a try:
http://www.operatorplease-logic.com
2. Wednesday night saw the biggest and
best Popbitch Popquiz so far at the East
Room. A couple of hours later this amazing
members club burned to the ground. It wasn't
us, honest. We're absolutely gutted for all
of our friends at East Room - we've had so
many happy PB nights there. In the meantime,
show them some love by going for a drink
in the sister bars still standing - The
Player, in Soho, or Match bars, near Oxford
Circus, Clerkenwell Rd and Melbourne CBD:
http://www.thplyr.com/
http://www.matchbar.com/
3. Popbitch is hosting a venue at Camden Crawl
in May. Join us at Cuban Bar, bank holiday
Sunday, 2 May, with five bands, amazing DJs and
other stuff to tell you about soon. Buy tickets now!
http://www.seetickets.com/camdencrawl
4. Idris "Driis" "Stringer Bell" Elba's new single:
http://bit.ly/ciysmI
5. The Eurovision line up this year looks
absolutely terrible. For some odd reason
we like Russia, but we LOVE the one that
only came third in their comp.
http://bit.ly/ctfKUK
******************************************************
Win free tickets for The Extraordinary Cabaret of
Dorian Gray. Popbitch has three pairs up for grabs.
Tell us whose career you'd most like to see revived?
Email comp@popbitch.com with your suggestion
More info: http://tiny.cc/DYYDw
******************************************************
>> Things that make you go hmm <<
Evil Dead, Frankmusik, tube stations
So how many tube stations contain no letters
from the word Popbitch? Find out this and
every other tube related letter enquiry here:
http://bengreen.org.uk/tube.html
Evil Dead in clayamation in 60 seconds. Awesome:
Congratulations to Hurt Locker-loving rabbit
Smokey, who last week indicated a big win at the
Oscars for the Iraq film. Smokey was chuffed to
bits watching the awards on TV.
Is this Frankmusik and his wang?
http://www.badongo.com/pic/8969223
That new Haiti song:
http://bit.ly/cdXL1F
Activity holidays or boutique hotels not your
thing? Popbitch may have the thing for you.
Two nights in a hotel with unlimited booze -
79 quid. Go away so you can stay in and get
shitfaced without breaking the bank:
http://bit.ly/aFCqx1
>> UK Top 40 <<
This week's new entries/high climbers predictions
Number One
TINY TEMPAH Pass Out
Top Ten
JUSTIN BIEBER ft LUDACRIS Baby
GABRIELLA CILMI On A Mission
Top Twenty
MCLEAN My Name
LADY GAGA/BEYONCE Telephone
Top Forty
STEVE AOKI I'm In The House
>> End Bit <<
Stuff about Popbitch
* Email stories, gossip:
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* Subscribe or unsubscribe here:
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**************************************************
Thanks to: CL, SW, LM, AM, SW, NF, monstris, AM,
jacques_as_in_hattie, richjohnston, medium_smart,
mrs_ivy_trellis, BB, bobbifleckmann, RM, CB,
philarious, hattyfatteners, chevychase,
plasticflamingo
Everyone who sent us tube station nonsense -
and confirmed our Pimlico-Badger fact
particularly BG and RS.
**************************************************
Old Jokes Home:
Q: How does the blind parachutist know when
he's about to land?
A: His dog lead goes slack.
Still Bored?
Addictive game with cats and sushi:
http://armorgames.com/play/5379/sushi-cat
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