Chris Brown doesn’t like herpes

Written by: richard gilzene

The internet’s tubes are sticky with unsubstantiated rumour over yesterday’s Chris Brown/Rihanna assault investigation, with the most ‘hilarious’ of it being Brown did his best Ike Turner impression after finding out um-ber-ella’s soiled clunge gave him herpes.

As you can see, a quick Google picture search wouldn’t have done much to allay his fears. According to reports, Rihanna suffered a black eye and, er, bite marks as a result of the attack and Brown could face four to nine years that he obviously won’t do. Looks like she’ll soon be scouring STD Pal for a more accepting beau.

Six Degrees of Sexual Disease: conclusive proof that Kate Moss is to blame for the planet’s dire STD rates?

CHRIS BROWN just found out he got it off RIHANNA

- who most likely got it off renown swordsman JOSH HARTNETT towards the end of 2007

- who was unfortunate enough to get his penis caught inside SIENNA MILLER earlier that year

- who got it off the school caretaker in Year 8 JUDE LAW, throughout 2004-6

- who was fresh from ‘three-in-a-bed’ shenanigans with Sadie Frost and KATE MOSS

Poor Chris.

Tags: chris brown, fights, herpes, josh hartnet, jude law, kate moss, rihanna, sex, Sienna Miller, stds
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