‘Octomom’ needs money, friends

Written by: richard gilzene

It’s all going wrong for ‘Octomom’ Nadya Suleman. Despite initially being welcomed with the same sort of pitying affection you’d give Sloth from The Goonies, America has turned its back on her after it was revealed she’s already on the dole with 6 other kids and looks a bit like Angelina Jolie (but more like Pete Burns).

Coincidentally, Nadya is a massive Angie fan. Such a big fan, in fact, she’s rumoured to have visited a plastic surgeon in an attempt to look more like the actress.  So it must have been a nice surprise for the mother-of-fourteen to read last week that her hero is apparently ‘creeped out’ by her. That’s Angelina Jolie. Calling another woman ‘creepy’.

“It is clear this woman needs psychological help,” a source close to Jolie told the Chicago Sun Times.

“It’s one thing to clip out a celebrity’s photo from a magazine and ask your stylist to copy that cut. Who hasn’t done that?”

“But to have a nose job, have collagen injections in your lips and start talking like Angelina – that’s over the top.”

Yeah, the collagen and nose jobs that 60% of actress in Hollywood can claim to have done are over the top. Why can’t Nadya just be normal and carry around a vial of her boyfriend’s blood? Or collect her children from various continents? Or be sexually deviant enough to warrant her own Daily Mail campaign?

So far, donations to the ‘Official Octomom Fund’ roughly stand at some mouldy, oxidised loose change, a box of hate mail and a few death threats. Nadya needs a friend. What would YOU donate? Answers on a postcard. Or newsdesk@popbitch.com will do.

Tags: angelina jolie, brad pitt
Posted in Uncategorized |