Winehouse isn’t coming back

According to her mum Janis, Amy Winehouse is staying on her extended St. Lucian jolly for well into the foreseeable future. Claiming Amy is ‘more relaxed than she’s ever been’ (that’ll be the 10 spliffs a day, Jan) the family aren’t too bothered about making plans to ship the singer back to Britain so she can get on with the business of making music; news which should delight her record label:

“Amy’s in a really good place at the moment. She is eating well and has put on some weight, which I’m really pleased about.

“She’s also been doing so much out there to clear her head, like taking long walks and doing horse riding. She has no plans to come home right now and definitely doesn’t want to go back to Camden.”

Hopefully when’s she’s done taming wild animals and playing naked Scrabble she can come back and revive the UK’s comatose celebrity circuit, so we don’t have to suffer another day of ‘Lily Allen vs the rest of Twitter’.

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