It’s the final countdown

So now we know who’s in the final, and it got quite exciting for a brief moment last night when they left it to the very last moment to announce that Greece had qualified. There’d have been few more popular events than the fall of Sakis around these parts, and he darned nearly fell off that ludicrous giant stapler of his – we can only hope he’ll go the whole hog on Saturday.

A rather drab Croatia and Albania’s emerald gimp were the only two real surprises in the second semi-final, but the draw has thrown up some interesting clashes. At first it seemed as though the rapidly fading monkey-faced Norwegian boy had bagged a plumb draw in 20th – until the bonkers bombast of Ukraine was drawn directly after it. Will they cancel each other out, or will one overwhelm the other? Thankfully for Norway the anti-crisis girl’s stage furniture takes so long to drag on that they’ve had to crowbar in an ad break between them. But with Norway no better than evens in the betting you’d be better place putting your pence on the Ukrainians.

And despite its early appearance, France has struck lucky being surrounded by a gaggle of inferior ballads and drabbery. It’s a performance that has consistantly stopped everyone in their tracks, and if Europe’s in a grim mood tomorrow evening the old girl could well do some good business in the points stakes.

But the big winner of the running order, rather surprisingly, is our Jade. Pitched between a right pair of duffers from Finland and Romania and three from the end, it’s the song that will stick in the memory best when the punters lean over their evening tea to pick up the phone and vote. The O2 Arena next year, anyone?

Elsewhere, Dita von Teese’s miniscule appearance in the German turn seemed a little pointless, Azerbaijan are still insisting on playing that comedy ukelele, and the prematurely balding Lithuanian is thankfully keeping his hat on now. These three are almost certainly doomed, despite their unintentional comedy.

If you’re looking for betting tips though, you can still get very generous odds for the dreary-yet-mum-pleasing Danes to make the top ten, and the Russian gal’s curiously understated show looks like incredible value to bag a top four slot. But best of the lot is for the caterwauling Romanian to come dead last. The bottom slot is always filled by a song you don’t expect, and this could well be propping up the table come saturday night.

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