Celebrity magazine olympics: batch V

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Best cover line: “Jordan juggles 2 men in 1 week! Parties with cage fighter and takes him home for night. Secret dates with male model” [CLOSER]

Best cover lie: Angry Posh: “David – I’ve had enough” (It’s important to note that this quote is not used anywhere in the article, and nor is the quote in the article’s headline, which reads: Posh “I won’t stand for this abuse”.) [REVEAL]

Artistic licence with a ‘source’: Jen tells Brad “I think I’m pregnant!” – says a pal [NATIONAL ENQUIRER]

Freak of the week: “My lover faked giving birth – she told me I was a dad, but where was the baby?” [THAT'S LIFE] (We had to put in the close 2nd place this week, of “I love having sex with a fairground ride!” in CLOSER).

Most bashed celeb of the week: Jordan is back as the most hated, summed up in the headline “JORDAN: BEAUTIFUL TO BITTER” [HEAT]

Too fat/thin: Michelle Heaton is getting targeted as too skinny with reports that she’s dropped from a size 14 to a size 6.

Made up feature special: This week it’s the stars without make up. The National Enquirer condemns it while Heat promotes it, but NOW just points out their pimples. Nice.

Jen/Jolie story and photo count: Back up to five out of nine mags displaying photos or stories on all three of Jen, Brad and Ange.

P.s. Hasn’t anyone else noticed that every photo that has been used of Jennifer Anniston for a story in any of the mags we’ve seen in the past two weeks has been from the same reel? The same outfit from the same day? Blue vest and black waisted skirt.

Question of the week: Why is Sophie Ellis-Bextor turning up in places like Closer and Now with the same photo of her in the black playsuit? We didn’t think she was that kind of fodder.

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