Justin Bieber, Attorney At Law
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**************************************************** Make your Grand National bet here (thank you!) and take advantage of Coral's great deal. Open account, bet a tenner, get a 20 quid free bet. So, stick five pounds each-way on your favourite horse and you (sort of) can't lose! (Unlike us - we haven't won a penny on the race for 10 years...) http://bit.ly/h0qPXe **************************************************** "I happen to be small and I've been subject to many years of 'heightism' - a word I invented" - David Sullivan "There are things happening in Libya and Ivory Coast and we are talking about Wayne Rooney swearing at a camera" - Rio Ferdinand ---------------------------------------------------- POPBITCH _ _ _ _ __ ___ _ __ | |__ (_) |_ ___| |__ | '_ \ / _ \| '_ \| '_ \| | __/ __| '_ \ | |_) | (_) | |_) | |_) | | || (__| | | | | .__/ \___/| .__/|_.__/|_|\__\___|_| |_| |_| |_| 07.03.11 ISSUE 539 Free every week: to subscribe/unsubscribe go to http://www.popbitch.com Send us stories - email: hello@popbitch.com * Silly bets for the Grand National * Danny Dyer's DJing techniques * Jennifer Lopez is this week's number one ---------------------------------------------------- >> Britney fears << The David Icke connection In light of our story last week about Britney being dead behind the eyes, someone told us that there's a good reason for this - brainwashing. Specifically, mind control by the Illuminati. The most compelling bits of evidence are these: 1. The video was done by Jonas Akerlund "today's go-to director for mind control /occult imagery", apparently. 2. There may be a semi-hidden Baphomet head in the video, emphasising the occult nature of Britney's mind control (FYI: Baphomet was the deity worshipped by the Knights Templar, and in Black Magic as the source and creator of evil). 3. Britney has a multiple personality disorder: "Sources say Brit has a number of other identities where she becomes 'the weepy girl', 'the diva', 'the incoherent girl', and on and on. Weepy, diva and incoherent? If that’s a sign of Illuminati mind control, we’d better check Mariah Carey, Robbie Williams and Diana Ross. See for yourself: http://bit.ly/eQ8lbl FYI: Britney's upcoming tour will "have a post-apocalyptic feel". Now we know why... ---------------------------------------------------- Have Ashley Tabor and Simon Cowell been in cahoots the whole time? They’ve both got co- writers' credits on the X-Factor theme music... ---------------------------------------------------- >> Bear's in captivity << A hotel can be a hostile environment Survivalist Bear Grylls may appear to be cool, calm and collected in the face of danger, capable of handling himself in any situation, but the truth is that some times he's just as flappable as any of us. Why, just last year he was out in the States filming his latest series and got himself into a tremendous panic when he locked himself in his own hotel room. ---------------------------------------------------- Classy tweet of the week: "believe me this is 1 game i did no wnt to miss and still devo now!!!! but will not be made a scapegoat saying they only knew jus b4 K O" - Aaron Lennon ---------------------------------------------------- >> Interned out next again << Jobs for the boys in advertising john_lewis_partnership writes: "Good to hear Harriet Harman banging on about internships. It's terrible how coveted positions go to those whose parents have influence, isn't it? I was reminded of an instance about four years ago when I was working for an ad agency that did a lot of Central Office of Information advertising and other government work. A rather useless young man was foisted on us for a couple of weeks. Had he succeeded in open competition and fair assessment? Who knows. But his mum was Harriet Harman." ---------------------------------------------------- Only one single in the top 40 midweek sales is selling more than 2% on CD - The Wanted's Gold Forever. With a whole 5%. (Only three tracks register anything other than 100% digital sales). ---------------------------------------------------- >> Rabbits vs Otter << The new animal kingdom fight The head of the Devon and Cornwall police, Chief Constable Steven Otter, has been accused of "subversive management" and leaving staff "angry, confused and demoralised" by the region's police federation. And who is the head of the police federation who wrote this attack letter to Chief Constable Otter? Step forward Mr Nigel Rabbits. Who would win in a fight between a rabbit and an otter? Surely there's no question. So instead, join the game fitting the word "Otter" into movie titles: http://twitter.com/search?q=%23ottermovies ---------------------------------------------------- The first gay bar in the world to have clear windows rather than covered windows or be tucked away in a basement was the Twin Peaks Tavern in San Francisco. ---------------------------------------------------- >> Big Questions << Who is asking what this week Which tabloid recently requested to do a Q&A with Katie Price only to be told that her rate per question was ten grand? A hooker is trying to sell a story claiming that when she was pregnant she was paid to act as a kind of lactating milk-maid for the delight of which high profile politician? ---------------------------------------------------- Q: What could be more surreal than a sweary porn purveyor like Richard Desmond owning four newspapers? A: Selling those four titles to Mohammed Al-Fayed. ---------------------------------------------------- **************************************************** >> Spring Racing Special pt 3 << This year's Grand National is upon us, (Saturday, 4.15pm), and with 40 horses it's a difficult race to predict. To help you out, we thought we'd find some good horses to back based on more than who is tipping them or how nice their names are: * The one if you are a Man Utd fan - What A Friend 11-1 Owned by Sir Alex Ferguson. * The one if you hate Man Utd - Bluesea Cracker 20-1 Owned by JP McManus, ex-Man Utd shareholder whose spat with Fergie lead to the Glazers buying the club. * The one if you think it's a Girls World Bluesea Cracker (again) No mare has won since 1951 * The one if you think the recession has turned the world a bit Grey Silver Nature 13-1 It's been 32 years since a grey horse won * The one for fans of Steely Dan Don't Push It 14-1 Red Rum was the last horse to Do It Again, i.e. win two in a row * The one if you loved Fast Food Rockers West End Rocker 25-1 Loads of Pizza Huts in the west end etc.. http://youtu.be/S3dPXxPGbmM It's a big help to Popbitch if you choose to make a bet through us. We've got a great deal for you from Coral (who you might want to support as they haven't been one of the bookies moving offshore to avoid paying tax). Open a new account and bet a tenner on the National, and they'll credit you with 20 quid to bet with: http://bit.ly/h0qPXe >> End Spring Racing Special << **************************************************** >> Dyer in the disco! << Danny's DJ techniques Danny Dyer's DJing career seemed to cause a lot of excitement last week. Many readers sent in their reports of DJing with Danny - who was described, pretty much unanimously, as a "bloody nice bloke - seriously". It sounds as if Dyer doesn't take himself too seriously. We're told he calls DJing "Pressing Screws". He just pushes the screws holding the mixing desk together while a pre-mixed CD put together by a mate plays. Danny doesn't even press "play" on the CD. You can see photos of him Pressing Screws last summer in Ibiza on this DJs blog (about halfway down): http://bit.ly/hjkwr8 ---------------------------------------------------- 10th birthday party for members club Century - Mr C from The Shamen played a 90s rave set. One of the highlights? Move Any Mountain by... The Shamen. ---------------------------------------------------- >> Rubbish tip << Old Etonians and the little folk Oliver Letwin hasn't made himself any new friends with his recent alleged comments about Sheffield, but then he's never really been in the friend-making business. One reader tells us that they dined in the same Dorset restaurant as him and saw that after Letwin and his acquaintance enjoyed a three-course seafood lunch with wine the MP made a big show of picking up the tab, asking loudly for a VAT receipt and then leaving a cash tip. Of two quid. ---------------------------------------------------- John Cooper, on trial for the murder of four people in Pembrokeshire in the 1980s, was a contestant on Bullseye one month before the shootings. ---------------------------------------------------- >> Rubbish overheard gossip << Part 1: in the pubs of Hampshire Last week in a pub in Lymington, Hampshire, Mark Kermode was overheard being approached by a rather drunken man who asked him if he'd ever seen "Lauren Laverne's ginger vadge". Dr Kermode replied, rather calmly, "Can't say I have". Have you overheard someone famous saying something banal? email hello@popbitch.com **************************************************** Play THE DEVIL IN YOU with Bret Easton Ellis: http://thedevilinyou.com **************************************************** >> Things that make you go hmmm << Owls, Attorney Bieber, Caligula Maximus A reason to be pleased the internet was invented: http://bit.ly/gQhWyg A reason to wish the internet had never been invented and should die screaming: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5WpY6tYSRbo Thinking of moving to New Jersey just so we can get an Attorney: http://www.justin-bieber-law.com/ Ex-West Ham star Paolo Di Canio was at the West Ham v Man Utd game last week having a nice sing: http://bit.ly/gQurRj Remember the plans for the Edinburgh International Film Festival we outlined? in http://bit.ly/g1OluW. Sadly we're unlikely to see those EIFF underpants now: http://bit.ly/dNpe43 Bosnia and Herzegovina's Eurovision entry, Dino Merlin, is pop royalty. He wrote the national anthem! Jedna si, jedina was the official anthem until 1998, but even now is the song most likely to be sung by crowds, at the football etc: http://bit.ly/gRBzEn Lady Gaga - control freak. And not always in a good way: http://bit.ly/hShhkd An almost-fitting tribute to Teena Marie: http://bit.ly/gKKclo A rather fine looking Roman disco play in New York has started this week - Caligula Maximus: http://vimeo.com/11011642 ************************************************** Popbitch Pop Quiz! Tuesday 12 April, 7.30pm The Player, Broadwick St, Soho. This month: the badgers are back, weddings, songs about bunnies, music round and other stuff. Last few tables available: rochelle@popbitchpopquiz.com ************************************************** >> End Bit << Stuff about Popbitch * Email stories, gossip: hello@popbitch.com * Subscribe or unsubscribe here: http://www.popbitch.com * Popbitch is published by Popdog Ltd. * Mail by aysabtu ************************************************** Thanks to: LT, CL, RM, PD, G, BM, CN, JC, car_snow_gin, onthehushhush, deep-stoat, AM DJWanker, NR, maxbrooklynshaw, glitterkitty, b, jaih, popfiction ************************************************** Old Jokes Home: There's a new vegetarian snack food on sale in Korea. It’s called Not Poodle. Still Bored? Denver the dog looks guilty: http://www.popbitch.com/home/2011/04/07/guilty-dog/
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