Disco Dancing with Dmitry
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**************************************************** "Duncan is the cleverest literary horror merchant since Bram Stoker" - The Times. Check out this spine-chilling new animation for Glen Duncan's extraordinary literary horror novel: THE LAST WEREWOLF: http://bit.ly/dNlxWP **************************************************** "If Ronnie O'Sullivan was a racehorse you would put him down" - Steve Davis ---------------------------------------------------- POPBITCH _ _ _ _ __ ___ _ __ | |__ (_) |_ ___| |__ | '_ \ / _ \| '_ \| '_ \| | __/ __| '_ \ | |_) | (_) | |_) | |_) | | || (__| | | | | .__/ \___/| .__/|_.__/|_|\__\___|_| |_| |_| |_| 21.04.11 ISSUE 542 Free every week: to subscribe/unsubscribe go to http://www.popbitch.com Send us stories - email: hello@popbitch.com * Our love letter to Blue * I'm A Celebrity... inspires Adam Curtis * Wreck32 is this week's number one ---------------------------------------------------- >> Judge dread << But who will be the new Cheryl The saga of the X-Factor judging panels has been more drawn out than even Who Shot JR? It's not quite set in stone yet but according to our source Cheryl could still get her wish to be on the US judging panel. Alongside Cowell, LA Reid and... Paula Abdul. And in the UK? Well, Louis and Dannii should be back. With Gary Barlow as the northern version of Simon Cowell. And who do we hear is favourite for the Cheryl Cole slot? Well, it's not Nicole Scherzinger. Or even Frankie from the Saturdays, who clearly wants to be the new Chezza. It looks like it's going to be... Tulisa from N Dubz. ---------------------------------------------------- Simon Cowell watches cartoons when he gets up in the morning, according to Daily Mail. ---------------------------------------------------- >> We fought the law but the law won << Why famous men like privacy injunctions It seems like a day doesn't go by now without another privacy injunction landing in our inbox. Britain now appears, in our opinion, to have a law that says rich and famous men - and it is always men - can shag around as much as they want as the law protects their privacy above all else. So this week the famous bloke who got his colleague sacked after his wife found out about their affair got away with it so his kids wouldn't be bullied. And another famous bloke kept revealing photos hidden as they might upset his family. A few years ago - when this legislation was still new - we were warned off a story involving a celebrity by his PRs who told us that if the news got out that their client was in fact a promiscious idiot his wife would be suicidal, i.e. did we want her death on our hands? Flabbergasted as we were by this invocation of a women's mental health just to help a rich bloke cover up his infidelity, we were even more so when the judge seemed to think that was fine. Well things have got worse since then. From recent cases we can say this, the moral of the story seems to be - celebrity men - make sure you've got kids, because then you can get away with anything. ---------------------------------------------------- Kris Donnelly from Big Brother 10 now works at the Kooples counter in Manchester Selfridges. ---------------------------------------------------- >> J Lo rider << Drive around the block in style Jennifer Lopez is back in the charts and on TV and, frankly, everywhere again. She's very keen on the world knowing that she's just a regular girl and has no idea where she got her diva reputation. Well that may be true. Then again, when she was approached to do her first big American magazine cover, her people said she’d do it. If the magazine bought her a Bentley. ---------------------------------------------------- What's with the 1989 take-offs? First J-Lo's excreable Lamabada rip-off is number one. Now Wreck32's Fool's Gold sample. (Plus Tracy Chapman's late 1988 Fast Car is top five.) ---------------------------------------------------- >> Big Questions << What people want to know this week Which troubled, scandal-hit sportsman has his apartment cleaned up to four times a day? Those around him wonder if the pressure is getting to him and he's turning into Howard Hughes. ---------------------------------------------------- Adam Boulton has been spotted out jogging recently - in a very loose over-sized T-shirt and with a towel draped over his shoulders. We're told he was "absolutely saturated with sweat." ---------------------------------------------------- >> Popbits << Put on your red shoes and dance the blues One thing we don't see enough of is world leaders at the disco. What's that - Russia's President likes a good old dance? Dmitry Medvedev gets down: http://bit.ly/hf24n6 **************************************************** Every element of the Royal Wedding has been covered to death - except the choice of music at the service. T-Mobile have an excellent suggestion for the happy couple though: http://bit.ly/hs2knN **************************************************** >> Would you Adam and eve it? << I'm A Celebrity inspires BBC documentary Adam Curtis' new documentary series starts on BBC2 next month. His title for it, All Watched Over By Machines Of Loving Grace, was rejected initially by BBC bosses as too long. How would it fit on the electronic programme guide etc? Then it was pointed out that this title had exactly the same number of words as I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here. And so Curtis was allowed to have the title. (FYI: As you’re no doubt checking, yes, one does has 33 characters, while the other has 44.) ---------------------------------------------------- Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer smells of onions. ---------------------------------------------------- >> Blue: a love letter << Get behind the foursome at Eurovision Excited though we were about Blue coming back to do Eurovision, we were worried that maybe the competition would force them to clean up their act. Then Antony Costa did a wee all over an ATM and we knew we were safe. Now they're doing lots of press in the build-up to the big show and we love them more than ever. Lee was talking in last week's issue of Heat about how "we come from a society where there is freedom of speech, which is brilliant" going on to prove the point by finishing the interview by saying "I get an erection all the time, actually. I only have to sit on a bus and it's off" Then Duncan was speaking to G2 yesterday about why he appeals to children with cerebal palsy more than the others in the group. If we were ever in doubt as to whether they were the right choice for Eurovision, we've had our fears allayed. They're the perfect ambassadors for UK. Now all we need is for Simon to do something. Still, there's plenty of time yet... FYI: See the video for I Can: http://bit.ly/gmE5yA FYI 2: The G2 article: http://bit.ly/eysH0o FY 3: In other Eurovision news, Sweden's gone the traditional pop route. It took us eight goes to force ourselves to get all the way through, but it was worth it as near the end is an out-of-key key change. Astonishing: http://bit.ly/gmE5yA ---------------------------------------------------- 11th April: World's most expensive afternoon tea (GBP 550 per couple) unveiled at Cliveden Hotel. 20th April: Cliveden's owners go into administration. ---------------------------------------------------- >> Cash of the titans << Movie star behaves like a gent Sam Worthington, out of Avatar, was eating at the Big Easy diner in Chelsea. Few people recognised him, as he was in a hat, with shaggy hair, and behaving very low-key. When he got the bill Sam left a large pile of cash, for what was described as only a small meal for two. But then thought about it, and left an even bigger tip. ---------------------------------------------------- Rupert Everett was sitting outside Barrafina, Soho, on Sunday. Dr Who Matt Smith spots Rupert, stares open-mouthed, keeps looking over his shoulder and nearly walks into a couple coming the other way. ---------------------------------------------------- >> Things that make you go hmmm << Big egg, Eden Wood, Rebecca Black cover Devil Otter Ate My Mini Van - Irish Sun had the best headline but in case you missed the story - amazing photos. Otters rock: http://bit.ly/eAU6Z6 Three days in the Algarve for 85 quid! http://bit.ly/eiuLMC Top-Price Royal Opera House Tickets massively reduced: http://bit.ly/hc5Of4 What a big egg! http://bit.ly/eB1Q7P Popbitch Popquiz at Camden Crawl on 1st May. Get your Crawl tickets here: http://www.thecamdencrawl.com/fringe/popbitch Last week's laughing owls reminded us of the fabulous hungover owls: http://hungoverowls.tumblr.com/page/19 Want a necklace from the imprint of your dog's nose? http://www.pawesome.net/2011/04/dog-nose-print-necklace/ Protester girls - fancy doing a self-confessed Tory boy? http://london.craigslist.co.uk/cas/2336413433.html Eden Wood is back with an even more disturbing video to Cutie Patootie: http://bit.ly/dXeB7x Rather good orchestral version of that Rebecca Black song: http://bit.ly/eAh5Ek Incredibly annoying woman covering a Chris Brown track, who then suddenly becomes brilliant: http://bit.ly/dZe7nY ************************************************** Ultimate Power, the greatest and only power ballads night in the world at The Scala is offering an escape from the royal wedding. Win four tickets for you and your mates by sending in your top three power ballads ever. Best three answers win - email comp@popbitch.com http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WP4Ke6wJKx0 ************************************************** >> End Bit << Stuff about Popbitch * Email stories, gossip: hello@popbitch.com * Subscribe or unsubscribe here: http://www.popbitch.com * Popbitch is published by Popdog Ltd. * Mail by aysabtu ************************************************** Thanks to: HMJ, CL, MS, SW, AM, GA, WRM, TM scoundrel, loobyloo, LD, bobbifleckman, monstris * Thanks to everyone who sent in the otter story * We said last week that Sarah Palin smelled of almonds. Thanks to everyone who pointed out that it's the smell of cyanide... ************************************************** Old Yorkshire Jokes Home: Last night Huddersfield police station was broken in to and all the SatNavs were stolen. A taskforce has been set up and is looking for Leeds. Still Bored? The iPhone case and condom carrier. Perfect for the posh-wanking Apple fanboy in your life: http://bit.ly/haXWUA
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