Bachmann, Thunder, Overdose
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************************************************ Got that September back to work feeling and want to sort your life out? Like to know more about savings, pensions and all sorts of scary finance stuff but too intimated to ask? Talk to Henri Oxlade - she's used to dealing with DJs, drunks, journalists and normal people. You won't feel patronised. For a chat or a consulation: call 020 7382 0453 or email hoxlade@rad-new.com ************************************************ "I went to a Stranglers gig and I thought, this is just the worst night I've ever had in my life" - Simon Cowell "I don't have sophisticated tastes. I have average tastes" - Simon Cowell ----------------------------------------------- POPBITCH _ _ _ _ __ ___ _ __ | |__ (_) |_ ___| |__ | '_ \ / _ \| '_ \| '_ \| | __/ __| '_ \ | |_) | (_) | |_) | |_) | | || (__| | | | | .__/ \___/| .__/|_.__/|_|\__\___|_| |_| |_| |_| 01.08.11 ISSUE 560 Free every week: to subscribe/unsubscribe go to http://www.popbitch.com Send us stories - email: hello@popbitch.com * A fishy tale about Helen Mirren * God wages war against glam metal * Charts: Example v Ed Sheeran for number one ------------------------------------------------ >> Driving them round the Benz << Ain't no party like an S-class party After a long flight and a trip through customs, most people would be thrilled at the thought of a Mercedes coming to pick them up to drive them to their apartment. Not Kanye West. When he came to the UK to play recently he refused to get into the car that had been sent for him, and so his security had to call for a Maybach to come instead. Then, by way of explanation, Kanye said "Come on, guys. You know I ain't gonna get in anything less than S-Class." ----------------------------------------------- Angus Young of AC/DC doesn't have a driving license. ----------------------------------------------- >> Kerry on regardless << Not such testing times for CBB Been wondering what the difference between Celebrity Big Brother on C4 and C5 is? 2010: C4 want Kerry Katona for the show. She doesn't make it through their psych tests. 2011: C5 want Kerry Katona for the show. There are no psych tests. Kerry's favourite to win CBB - want to bet against her on Boylesports? Paddy and Jedward are better odds: http://bit.ly/o3y2xz ----------------------------------------------- Graeme Garden's son plays keyboards for Scissor Sisters. ----------------------------------------------- >> Big Question << What people are asking this week Which of the mourners who attended Amy Winehouse's funeral must have got the day confused with some sort of PR event? Seems to be the only reasonable explanation for why they asked if they could "have a plus one". ************************************************ WANTED >> PR Account Director. Top London agency seeks creative and dynamic PR to work across exciting media and entertainment properties. Minimum 5yrs agency experience preferred. Passion for popular culture essential. http://www.taylorherring.com/jobs ************************************************ >> The artist's snooze << Trying to get Trace in paper gymqueen writes: "Your snippet on Tracey Emin reminded me of the time I was asked to interview her for a UK broadsheet. After being given the run around by her snotty assistant for a fortnight, I got here mobile number from a mutual friend and called her directly. She was furious that I'd woken her up and told me she was going back to sleep, and never to call her again. "It was 4pm on a Wednesday afternoon." ----------------------------------------------- Hank Marvin's son is playing in a funk/soul covers band whilst working on his own music. He says he's influenced by Nirvana. ----------------------------------------------- >> Re-enter the dragon << The soon-to-be rich get Richard If you watched Dragons' Den this week, you will have seen most of the Dragons throwing in offers at the Jogpost pitch. Deborah Meaden finally secured the deal and was later quoted as saying it was the best pitch she had ever seen on the show. A pretty stirring endorsement. But the young entrepreneurs had a good mentor and adviser for their pitch. A certain Doug Richard... who had been one of the Dragons in the first two series. ----------------------------------------------- Trevor MacDonald's son works as a landscape gardener. ----------------------------------------------- >> Lonely at the top << Something fishy in Helen's room Craig David used to have it written into his contract that he must be surrounded at public appearances by 12 "gorgeous" models. Luther Vandross used to ask his record company to provide him with young men dressed as Grenadier Guards with fluffy hats. Now who is the latest celeb to request a little company? Helen Mirren. Dame Helen was staying at the Tribeca Grand last week, promoting her latest film. While there, she was seen to avail herself of one of the hotel's special services - requesting that a goldfish in a bowl was brought to her room. ----------------------------------------------- Tim Brooke-Taylor's son works in IT and is described as being 'very nice indeed'. ----------------------------------------------- >> Bachmann, Thunder, Overdose << What Hurricane Irene really meant Michele Bachmann was wrong. Hurricane Irene wasn't sent by God as a warning to Washington politicians. With the news that the storm destroyed Sebastian Bach's house, along with Skid Row mastertapes, it's obvious it was just another step in His 25 year campaign against US hair metal. Just look at the facts: Motley Crue left behind their heavy rocking ways in favour of MTV, hair dye and make-up after Shout At The Devil in 1983. God was obviously angered so He fired a warning shot across the bows to the LA rock scene by getting Vince Neil to kill Razzle from Hanoi Rocks in a car crash. It wasn't heeded so over the next two decades He subjects 'Crue to all sorts of indignities - Nikki Sixx dates Kat Von D, Vince Neil gets fat, they all overdose. Ratt's Robin Crosby announced he had AIDS, then died from a heroin OD. The band then entered a lawsuit over rights to use the name, during which Ratt neither recorded nor toured for five years. Poison's Bret Michaels gets a burst appendix, brain haemorrhage and hole in the heart. He does so much reality TV no-one remembers he was in a band. Warrant's Janie Lane, dies in an LA hotel room in August, aged only 47. And not in the Chateau Marmont or Sunset Marquis, but a Comfort Inn. ----------------------------------------------- Janie Lane was born just after JFK was shot His real name? John Kennedy Oswald. ----------------------------------------------- >> Big Brother House Music << Something from the popbitch vaults A few years ago, while seeing in the New Year in Australia, Tara Reid and her entourage wandered into a small Byron Bay DVD rental store. "Do you have any house music?" asked the actress. The shop clerk looked a bit confused and told her that they didn't sell CDs, she should try down the road. "No, but do you have any HOUSE MUSIC?" tried Tara again. When he shook his head again, Tara left. A few minutes later one of her people came back in the store and pleaded with the clerk for some house music before leaving in despair. That night the DVD guy was recounting his story in a local bar. He was told that another DVD store sold drugs on the quiet, and that "house music" meant you wanted some ecstasy. ----------------------------------------------- George W Bush's niece, Lauren, marries the son of designer Ralph Lauren this weekend. Making her Lauren Lauren. ----------------------------------------------- >> Popbits << Film, music and theatre edition 1. Frightfest 2011 Final Destination 5 - good The Theatre Bizarre - bad http://bit.ly/pyLaU0 2. 3D Sex and Zen - our reviewer appears to want to pick it as "best film 2011". Or at least "best 3D tits we've ever seen..." http://bit.ly/qWKa1D 3. How bad can life be when even One Direction and Dappy can release brilliant pop tunes? http://bit.ly/oJ9yLi 4. Follow-ups - Laura Marling's next album sounds great (although The Muse doesn't half remind us of the Blankety Blank theme); I Am A Camera did that haunting Without You last winter - here's Endless Storm; and Mozart finally gets a new record out "Lick me in the arse", thanks to Jack White and Insane Clown Posse: http://bit.ly/oJ9yLi 5. Parade, at The Vault, London Bridge, has some of the best reviews for any recent theatre show. Hurry and go - it's only running until 17 Sept. http://bit.ly/qC0VcH 6. Just give them a title and musical comedy group Baby Wants Candy will write and perform a fully improvised 60 minute musical right before your eyes. London debut - Sept 7-10, Leicester Square Theatre. Popbitch readers get 25GBP tickets for only 16GBP with code BWCPOP: http://bit.ly/nE5hDW ----------------------------------------------- Popbitch's favourite weathergirl covering Hurricane Irene in USA? ABC's Amy Freeze. ----------------------------------------------- >> Things that make you go hmmm << Latin graffiti, tiger cubs, Slayer Male lingerie. Astonishing: http://xdress.com/ Latin graffiti - and what it means: http://bit.ly/SfQFr AC/DC went for wine; Slayer went for condoms: http://bit.ly/oBifRs Chris Heath on Simon Cowell: http://gqm.ag/nlTKeZ Running out of money post summer holidays? Pay 12GBP for 60GBP to spend on handbags and accessories at Nellypot.com http://bit.ly/mU27ly The Chilean miners - one year on: http://bit.ly/oLHsCa And the bridesmaids all wore Uggs: http://bit.ly/p1A2u6 Just how cute are tiger babies? THIS cute: http://bit.ly/nDPJBG Q: Why did the otter cross the racetrack? http://bit.ly/og3d5W ************************************************ After a summer break - Popbitch Popquiz is back! 13 Sept (The Player, Soho) 14 Sept (Trailer Happiness, Notting Hill), 7.30pm, fiver entry, teams of up to four. It's the great Back To School quiz, inc egg and spoon race, spelling bee and host Tom Webb (with one of the top 20 best jokes at Edinburgh this year - Nuts mag) Prize for anyone in a uniform. Book in now! email: rochelle@popbitchpopquiz.com ************************************************ >> Stuff about Popbitch << * Email us stories, gossip, otter pics: hello@popbitch.com * Subscribe or unsubscribe here: http://www.popbitch.com * Popbitch is published by Popdog Ltd. * Mail by aysabtu ********************************************* Thanks to: Longstreak, deep_stoat, CM bogarts_lung, TP, GA, DG, GO, LMES, V, monstris, MF, bobbifleckmann, SW, PG, theabominablehoman, father-gadd, O, AM ******************************************** Old Jokes Home Just hired an Eastern European cleaner. It took her five hours to Hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak. Still Bored? Stuart "The Brand" Baggs performed his one-man show "Stuart Baggs and his Field Of Ponies" last weekend in Edinburgh. The flyers were clearly Photoshopped to look a little ridiculous - but it's not actually a million miles from the photos he gave his PR agency... http://bit.ly/qEspWX
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