I’m not Willie Nelson
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********************************************* Don't be a Christmas Pudding Safe & effective Gastric Band Hypnosis weight loss system. Save 100GBP - 4 sessions 299GBP if booked before 24 Dec 2011 (399GBP after) (London, Manchester, Birmingham) Call Patrick on 07931 424905 http://bit.ly/v02Ygi ********************************************* "We of course make records, they are fundamental to what we do, but we wanted to create a brand so that our fans have a greater experience," Zac Hanson "Basically, punk would never have happened without Sly Stallone" - Adam Ant ----------------------------------------------- POPBITCH _ _ _ _ __ ___ _ __ | |__ (_) |_ ___| |__ | '_ \ / _ \| '_ \| '_ \| | __/ __| '_ \ | |_) | (_) | |_) | |_) | | || (__| | | | | .__/ \___/| .__/|_.__/|_|\__\___|_| |_| |_| |_| 08.12.11 ISSUE 573 Free every week: to subscribe/unsubscribe go to http://www.popbitch.com Send us stories - email: hello@popbitch.com * More TV production joy * Skid Mark: Cavendish for SPOTY * Charts: X Factor still at number one ------------------------------------------------ >> Heal the world << Haiti in tears again Inthepocket writes: "A friend recently went to Haiti, as a volunteer to build houses. To keep things light with the kids in the village as they were building, they started playing Michael Jackson songs and singing and dancing. "One of the volunteers commented how sad it was that MJ had died... which was news to the Haitian children, who burst into tears." ------------------------------------------------ Human Centipede I and II is being suddenly removed from Sky Box Office and replaced with Beethoven's Christmas Adventure. And that's not just as offensive? ------------------------------------------------ >> Big Questions << What people are asking this week Which actress - known for her wild, untamed hair - has cuffs which match the collar? A West End dresser claims hers is the hairiest minge she's ever seen, describing it as looking like "a bear pelt". Has Lily Allen gone properly vintage and named her baby Ethel? ----------------------------------------------- Much more surprising celebrity lawyer than Judge Jules? Stuart Ripley, ex-England football player. ----------------------------------------------- >> Skid mark << Cavendish on tour Cycling champ Mark Cavendish is favourite to win BBC Sports Personality this year. Here's one of his Wildean tweets from 2011 Tour de France that confirms to us that he deserves the prize: "1 point today I got bad stomach cramp & farted unintentionally. Really thought I'd..ahem..followed through. So sorry to Liquigas guy behind". ------------------------------------------------ Lemonheads' guitarist, T Corey Brennan, is now Andrew W Mellon Professor-in-Charge of School of Classical Studies, American Academy, Rome. ------------------------------------------------ >> Cotton picky << Actor fails to re-write script I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here also-ran Anthony Cotton did a few days work on Queer As Folk. He liked to add paragraphs of additional lines to his script and begged Russell T Davies to approve them. He didn't. ----------------------------------------------- PEDANTRY UPDATE: Apparently the Kanji used in Yoko Ono's name means it actually translates as "Small Field Ocean Child". ----------------------------------------------- >> Spidertwit << Brit actor "drops a G" Has Hollywood claimed another victim? Andrew Garfield was in the Tin Goose bar at Heathrow Terminal 1 last week telling a friend very loudly how he'd "dropped a G" on champagne in a London nightclub. Perhaps he's researching a role - it might help explain why he's suddenly dropped his plummy English accent and adopted an LA twang. ----------------------------------------------- Andrey Arshavin really likes bears. ----------------------------------------------- >> Easter egg on face << A career in politics beckons Nick Easter's explanation that he "could" have made the famous "35 grand down the toilet" statement at the Rugby World Cup was almost Donald Rumsfeldesque: "I don't specifically remember saying it but it's possible I did - especially if a number of players have said so. It is the kind of facetious thing I say and people who know me know this. "The remark, assuming I said it, has been taken out of context by the player, and subsequently, by the response to it. "I hope my explanation clears this issue up once and for all and we can all move on". ------------------------------------------------ The US Libertarian Party's symbol is a penguin. Holding a torch like the Statue of Liberty. ------------------------------------------------ >> TV Times << Fish, chips and runner beans Dressing staff up as oompah loopas seems to be the thin end of the wedge of weirdness in TV companies. Someone wrote in about Cactus Productions, claiming that there is a "three strikes and you're out rule" for writing in blue ink. And not only that, but a seven page information book for runners on how the two bosses like their late-night takeaways to be brought to them. (eg Fish and Chips: her, on a plate with salt and vinegar on the side; him, in the paper etc). ----------------------------------------------- Best nominative determinism of the week: The new Editorial Assistant joining London Fashion Week The Daily is called Yasmin Coke. ----------------------------------------------- >> Callow's humour << Trying to talk to Simon Inexplicably, this week's hottest topic in our "rudest celebs" inbox has been Simon Callow. First, we hear about him taking the trouble to cut oily executives down to size at gala events by booming at them "Why on earth should I wish to talk to you?" Second, the line he barks at students who approach him whilst he is trying to enjoy an al fresco coffee is a simple yet effective "Oh, just FUCK OFF!" Finally, he is, apparently, so well-endowed that his backstage nickname is "The Trunk". Know anything else about Callow (or another, ruder celebrity?) email: hello@popbitch.com ------------------------------------------------ Want your Xmas advert in Popbitch next week? email advertising@popbitch.com with more info. ------------------------------------------------ >> Things that make you go hmmm << Some Kittens, Star Wars, Louis Vuitton Tell us what you liked - and didn't like - in 2011 https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/ZQCSXFS Kittens don't like figure skaters! http://bit.ly/uaNqHI We're loving the dubstep Snowman: http://bit.ly/rY1H1k What happens when a Star Wars fan gets a light sabre for Xmas: http://bit.ly/sWAS1E PB's go-to guys for comfy toes (And they're on the new KFC advert): http://bit.ly/sq0jSm Family Fortunes 2011 - your answers: http://bit.ly/rOUARA Liven up that Xmas dinner party: http://dirtydish.es/ $68 Louis Vuitton condom for AIDS day. The LV logo is molded into the latex! http://designprovocation.com/ Food/drink/rollerdisco - 16/17 Dec: http://bit.ly/vGbkkO Turn your TV into an art studio with the uDraw tablet. We liked playing the alien splatting game: http://www.worldofudraw.com/ *********************************************** Exceptionally decadent presents. Enter badsanta at checkout to get yours with a free gift: Don't tell anyone - Popbitch exclusive. http://www.blacklabelsextoys.com *********************************************** >> Stuff about Popbitch << * Email us stories, gossip, otter pics: hello@popbitch.com * Subscribe or unsubscribe here: http://www.popbitch.com * Popbitch is published by Popdog Ltd. * Mail by aysabtu ********************************************* Thanks to: J, Fayekorgasm, soapy_handerton, SM, JE, monstris, spudbunny, NW, bathwithkirsty, NW, mountstnobody, G, Thanks: for the fabulous bottle of Ron de Jeremy rum: http://www.firebox.com/ (If anyone else fancies sending us a Xmas present - we're generally thirsty) ******************************************** Old Jokes Home Q: What's the worst thing you can hear when you're having sex with Willie Nelson? A: "I'm not Willie Nelson." Still Bored? Possibly the best music piracy rumpus yet? Dutch musician Melchior Rietveldt is suing the big anti-piracy group BREIN for illegally using a piece of his music in, er, an anti-piracy advert. http://bit.ly/t2yxh0
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