Mini link dump

From the Brighton Argus:

Witches blamed for Sussex horse plaits.

From Boing Boing:

Man marries body pillow girlfriend in  Korea

Freak of the week: Too fat to be a Drag Queen

“Billy Gordon made a fortune as the world’s fattest drag queen, but his obsession with food has left him dangerously obese and unable to work”.

That bites.

OK! Magazine Divorce special?

OK! is the pre-eminent chronicler of the weddings and divorces of reality stars and footballers. But who could be making a move from the society and party pages at the back to the front cover?

Rumours are circulating that ex-porn baron, philanthopist, celebrity drummer, New Labour donor and proprietor of the Express newspapers, Richard Desmond, could be separating from his wife. Let’s hope this happy couple find a way to hold their relationship together. A hugely expensive divorce – and the potential for a fire sale of Desmond titles to pay for it -  is just too awful a prospect for OK! fans to contemplate.

Best of the sleb magazines

As Tuesday is celebrity magazine day we thought we’d give you a quick reminder of all the fun stories we found last week, and a quick update on the OMG! Jen/Brad/Angelina in love triangle shocka! It can seem a little hard to follow at times.

There were two freaks featured last week:

I breast-feed my 14 year old son and I married a ship, the sex is fantastic!

Tattoo of the week:

Shane Lynch has an instrument tattooed to his arm but we’re not sure if he can even play it.

Ang/Jen/Brad:

Angelina has won sovereignty over her family life; not only has she apparently managed to get Brad to toe the line (he was seen visiting her in Paris with the kids, he must be falling in line!) but she’s also reconciled her relationship with her father Jon Voight. Depending on which magazine you read, it was either herself, her brother or Brad who orchestrated the meeting between Angelina and her father, and given the credit as the advocator of their own ‘family therapy’. This also means that Jen is ’shocked’ and ‘a goner’ etc as there is no sign of a her and Brad getting back together any time soon. Or Jen and Gerrard Butler for that matter.

Until tomorrow, of course. So much can happen in a week.

Thief detection powder

“Invisible Fluorescent Thief Detection Powder is applied to a surface such as a doorknob or a valuable object. It is applied lightly with a brush. When your thief touches the object, the powder transfers to the skin and remains invisible until inspected under UV light. The Fluorescent Thief Detection Powder will glow brightly under UV light and will easily identify your thief. This product must be used with a UV light.”

Should come in handy. (Sorry)

And the award goes to… Sandra Bullock’s face

Congratulations on the Oscar, Sandra, you’ve come a long way since the days of Speed and Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous. And her face seems to have taken quite a journey too. The eyes and the bottom lip move. but not much else. Those cheekbones could have been carved out of Mount Rushmore. Her nose has lost its puppy fat and somehow she manages to keep the eyebrows and forehead entirely still.

Caption competition!

Winner:

“Minky and Uncle Whuppity finally make up”

Click here to see the original story:

Read more »

Freak of the week: “I married a ship, the sex is fantastic!”

Thank you Closer, what would we do without you?

Tattoo of the Week: Shane Lynch

We found this picture in OK. But what’s that instrument on Shane Lynch’s arm? A Cello or a Double Bass? Can he even play either of them?

Smokey’s Choice – Latest issue now up!

"If I could edit my past I'd get rid of all
the commas" - Peter Carey

"I'm Stacey from Dagenham, I like gherkins."
- Stacey Solomon
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|_|         |_|  04.03.10 ISSUE 488
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* Mini-Oscars special: Smokey's choice
* Polar bear testicle shrinkage
* Charts: Tiny Tempah is number one
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Read the rest of it here