When you wish upon a Kauto star
November 19, 2008 – 6:52 pm -
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Team Kauto v Team Denman - which one are you?
If it's the only horse race you ever bet on and
watch, get into this amazing duel. Sport rivalries
like this don't come along often. Friday 3.20pm.
Sign up with Popbitch and Betfair and get up to
£25 back in free bets. It's easy - what else
have you got to do on a Friday afternoon anyway?
http://bit.ly/btZsVL
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"Having a meat-based surname can prove
problematic" - Richard Bacon
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POPBITCH _ _ _
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|_| |_| 18.03.10 ISSUE 490
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To send us stories email: hello@popbitch.com
* Divorce - A list style
* Terry Gilliam gets philosophical
* Charts: Tinie Tempah to be number one again
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>> Chelsea mourning <<
The Second Coming isn't coming
Sources at Chelsea FC say it's finally
dawned on Ashley Cole that he has been
properly dumped by the fragrant Cheryl.
Colleagues say he'd been 100% sure she'd
take him back. Doing better on the WAG
front is Frank Lampard. Christine Bleakley
was at the Inter game this week, and took
the singing and pointing at her of
"Wag in the Shed End" (to the tune of
Guantanamera) with good humour, even
joining in a chorus of "Super Super Frank".
The rumour going round the club is that
Roman Abramovich is ready to ask Jose
Mourinho to come back as manager. We
understand that is a total non-starter.
FYI: We hadn't picked up on this at the time,
but one of the Italian lovelies Mourinho had been
linked with was the current Mrs George Clooney:
http://bit.ly/cxlmtY
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Q: What do you call an ape in a minefield?
A: A Baboom.
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>> Together in electric dreams <<
80s pop star synth-gods united in sleep
We haven't thought much of Thomas Dolby since
She Blinded Me With Science days. But he posted
this on his blog last Friday:
"Last night I dreamed I hired Howard Jones for a
keyboard session at a big studio (Abbey Rd? Real
World?) We were getting ready for him and setting
up all my old keyboards — the Fairlight, the PPG.
I was worried because they had been in storage
for so long. Someone came in and said 'Howard's
juicers are here – where should we put them?' (For
some reason I knew his 'juicers' were not
electric blenders, they were people to make his
fruit juice.)...
"Eventually Howard arrived. He was very friendly
and looked great, in fact just like 1983. But we
were both wearing identical green corduroy
jackets. This was embarrassing but being English
neither of us felt able to mention it.
Then I woke up."
More:
http://blog.thomasdolby.com/?p=1045
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Congratulations to tabloid figure-of-fun Natalie Cassidy
on her pregnancy: we're sure the mags/papers will deal
with her inevitable weight gain with sensitivity.
(An anagram of Natalie pregnant is Anal Penetrating.)
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>> Big Questions <<
What people want to know this week
Which celebrity mother has been reported to
social services about her parenting on at
least three occasions?
Which Hollywood queen has a very white habit?
Over the last few months her agents and
publicists have been engaged in some creative
damage-limitation work to make sure the fact
that she doesn't seem to care who she shares
her powder with doesn't derail what is
already an award-winning career.
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Coldplay and Bryan Adams both said no to having
their songs used on Glee.
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>> Our Gold Cup runneth over <<
The Cheltenham Festival is here!
The big favourites have been well beaten over and
again this festival. Surely it can't happen
to Kauto Star? We only have til Friday 3.20pm
to wait. Another stat to look at is this one:
all but one of the last 16 winners have been
aged 7-9. Kauto Star and Denman are both 10.
So which team are you on?
* Bet on Kauto Star because he really should win,
it's time for a favourite to come good and
it's the sensible choice.
* Back Denman because his owner has been talking
down his chances (so that the odds lengthen?)
you like an underdog, or for sentimental reasons,
did you see him win in 2008 before his heart op?
* Choose another; Imperial Commander loves
Cheltenham, horsey people think Cooldine is
classy and Tricky Trickster has a cool name.
If you need more information, we've produced
a simple 20 Step Guide to Horse Racing:
http://bit.ly/9zGRR9
Get behind this once-in-a-generation duel -
sign up to bet here:
http://bit.ly/btZsVL
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Nobel economist Paul Krugman has two cats. Called
Albert Einstein and Doris Lessing.
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>> Fear and loathing in London <<
Much-loved director gets philosophical
Terry Gilliam attended a show at the
Photographer's Gallery in London last night.
Arriving alone, he was soon approached by
fans. When one told him that he loved his
films, Gilliam replied that he was glad
that someone had got some enjoyment out of
his life, as he hadn't. Let's just hope
it was the free-flowing booze talking.
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Banking Just Got Sexy - Michael Lewis, bestselling
author of Liar’s Poker, is back to rip the lid off
the reckless insanity behind the latest meltdown.
Read The Big Short now:
http://bit.ly/bYG8lX
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>> 19 and out? <<
Simon Fuller and the Beckhams
David Beckham might have even more to think
about than what is going to happen with his
football career. Talk in entertainment industry
circles suggests he might be looking for a
new svengali figure before too long. David
and Victoria are managed by Simon Fuller but
rumours surround Fuller's future. He sold 19
Management to US group CKX in 2005, but opted
to leave this year to start a new company,
imaginatively named XIX. This gives Fuller the
option to take on his rival Simon (Cowell),
who has stolen his thunder somewhat in the
world of jaded music TV talent show formats.
Rumours suggest that Fuller wants to go on
to bigger things than TV - that he's set on
becoming a Hollywood producer and player.
He's been filtering out brands and clients
already and is dropping a number of big
names. Could it be that he might yet
outgrow managing even Brand Beckham?
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Mercedes-Benz employs a full-time sniper. It has an
armoured car division, with one shooter to test
various bits of armour and bulletproof glass.
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>> Divorce - A List style <<
Who's got the most A list comforter?
My shoulder to cry on is better than YOUR
shoulder to cry on - even divorce is a status
thing for the famous.
As the Kate Winslet - Sam Mendes marriage
breaks up all we are left with explanations
from their confidants. First up, "sources close
to Kate" insist that Sam has been spending time
with actress Rebecca Hall since their split.
Next up, apparently Kate is being comforted by
Leo DiCaprio who "rushed to her side". So
in the game of Who's Got the Most A-List
Comforter, media watchers are left in no doubt
who wins. Round one to Ms Winslet!
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UK troops in Helmand are cheering the fact that
local boy Habib is in the final two of their
X Factor Afghan Star.
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>> Death of Eurovision <<
It's all set to be a snoozefest
Since late 1990s the Eurovision Song Contest
underwent something of a renaissance. Thanks
to SMS voting and the addition of central and
eastern European countries who were desperate to
showcase their music industry and modernity,
we've had 10 years of rising viewing figures,
fun pop, Lordi and even Europe-wide chart hits.
But that's all over. This year it's terrible.
We blame the re-installation of juries -
this could be 1979 again. Ballads, more ballads,
folk music and cruise ship entertainment are
back on the bill. Saying that, it was still a
shock to see just how bad the UK's contest, song
and performers were. Well, it was fun while
it lasted.
Go Greece! The only entertaining act so far,
and Serbia... is that Heather Mills?
http://bit.ly/9WyVeF
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Remember riot grrrl band Skinned Teen? They had a
song called I've Had Mark Owen. Prophetic.
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>> Popbits <<
Stuff from the Southern Hemisphere
This week we have mainly been listening to
Die Antwoord - a South African rap collective,
quite unlike anything around at the moment.
What is there not to like?
1. Rapping in a Afrikaans accent.
2. One of the few current bands making
interesting videos at the moment.
3. They call their music Zef-rap - which
translates loosely as redneck.
4. One of the band members, Leon Botha, is a
top Cape Town artist, and one of the oldest
survivors of Progeria, a rare genetic condition
causing premature aging.
5. Die Antwoord are touring Europe this year.
Watch:
http://www.dieantwoord.com/
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Ground Breaking, genre bending musical HAIR arrives
direct from Broadway to London from April 1. Best
available seats just released at £39.50 for previews.
Well worth the trip! Rate valid Mon 1 –Thurs 22 April
plus Fri 2 and 9 April and Fri 16th. Book here:
http://bit.ly/8YgCbR
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>> Things that make you go hmm <<
America, Archaos, Cabin Crew Cards
Taxes are low, spending is high. America's problem:
http://bit.ly/alshIJ
Remember Presidential candidate John Edwards
had a lovechild and lied to cover it up?
Well, the mistress has now spoken, and has
given a rather Sylvie Krin interview to GQ:
http://bit.ly/aJeJw2
Remember the bloke who claimed to be the
father of John Edwards' lovechild? He speaks:
http://bit.ly/b9f1pN
OMG! The Face! As Columbo! In Peterborough!
http://bit.ly/bRgW8m
Texan prison guard gets sacked for making comments
some people think Americans do every day. Like
"I believe that all dinosaurs were born of Satanic
angel who has sex with woman and the animal kingdom
that created ungodly reptilian creatures none of
these were on the Ark."
http://bit.ly/d7kgvp
Hilariously smutty greeting cards and gifts (and a
few nice ones too) that you certainly won’t find in
Clintons. Loads of stuff for cabin crew also!
http://www.deanmorriscards.co.uk
RIP Pierrot Bidon, creator of Archaos. On one
trip to UK in 1990 he managed to import:
1 alsation dog, enough semtex and explosives
to make 3 large car bombs, 400 litres of wine, a
large still, a goose and a small pig.
(Watch Pierrot Bidon trapeze off a fork lift truck)
He's not Banksy, he's Nick Walker, and look
what he's done in Paris:
http://bit.ly/9SFnrp
>> UK Top 40 <<
This week's new entries/high climbers predictions
Number One
TINIE TEMPAH Pass Out
Top Ten
LADY GAGA/BEYONCE Telephone
Top Twenty
INNA Hot
Top Forty
SKEPTA Bad Boy
>> End Bit <<
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Thanks to: CL, SW, LM, AM, SW, NF, LDB AM,
BB, fatlimey, AN, lovelight, kunani, JD,
majorbloodnok
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Old Jokes Home:
Jonathan Ross only goes to rugby matches to
play pranks on people.
He loves Twickenham.
Still Bored?
If you still haven't made your choice on the Gold
Cup, what are you waiting for?
http://bit.ly/btZsVL
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