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January 29, 2010 – 10:38 am -"My bingo is legendary... If you want to book me I'm very expensive, but I'm very good. I even make up my own phrases." Gary "Starlight" Barlow ----------------------------------------------------- POPBITCH _ _ _ _ __ ___ _ __ | |__ (_) |_ ___| |__ | '_ \ / _ \| '_ \| '_ \| | __/ __| '_ \ | |_) | (_) | |_) | |_) | | || (__| | | | | .__/ \___/| .__/|_.__/|_|\__\___|_| |_| |_| |_| 14.01.10 ISSUE 481 To send us stories Email: hello@popbitch.com * Michelle McManus v Manda Rin * Yvette Fielding v Mama Cass * Charts: Owl City is number one ------------------------------------------------------ Read the latest issue online here: http://www.popbitch.com/home/category/latest-issue Free every week: to subscribe/unsubscribe go to http://www.popbitch.comTags: popbitch mailout
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“Terry’s All Gold”
November 19, 2008 – 6:52 pm -***************************************************** Fancy watching Joe Mangel from Neighbours in a battle of the sexes comedy? Aussie comic Mark Little is bringing Defending the Caveman - the longest running solo play in Broadway history - to London. Get tickets for just £15. Use promo code "popbitch". Call 0844 847 2475 or book here: http://www.leicestersquaretheatre.com ***************************************************** "I love all the old classic music. Bands like Take That, that my mum used to listen to" - Pixie Lott ----------------------------------------------------- POPBITCH _ _ _ _ __ ___ _ __ | |__ (_) |_ ___| |__ | '_ \ / _ \| '_ \| '_ \| | __/ __| '_ \ | |_) | (_) | |_) | |_) | | || (__| | | | | .__/ \___/| .__/|_.__/|_|\__\___|_| |_| |_| |_| 04.02.10 ISSUE 484 Free every week: to subscribe/unsubscribe go to http://www.popbitch.com To send us stories Email: hello@popbitch.com * John Terry mini-special * Han Solo to the rescue * Charts: Owl City beating Jedward for number one ------------------------------------------------------ >> Day Of The Jacket << Time to get your coat, Darren Darren Day is due to appear in court next week on a charge of drink driving. We hear from a court insider that back when he was first charged (the week before Christmas) he asked a prison guard whether he could borrow a jacket to pull over his head to hide his face from the awaiting paps outside before being bailed out the back door. The guard agreed, on the understanding Day gives the coat back next time he was up in court. Day's been back to court three times since. The prison guard is yet to get his jacket back. ------------------------------------------------------ Ray Parker Jr (Ghostbusters) was Stevie Wonder’s guitarist on Sesame Street in 1973. He played a blistering version of Superstition. ------------------------------------------------------ ***************************************************** >> John Terry: A mini special << A Popbitch tribute to the England captain A sports magazine sent a couple of journalists to interview John Terry, one male; one female. At the end of the shoot JT and his representative left. But then the agent came back, to tell the girl that John wanted to invite her to the upcoming Chelsea party. In the time honoured tradition, she made her excuses and left. ------------------------------------------------------ Did you know JT has scored 28 times at the Bridge? Nah, nor did Wayne. ------------------------------------------------------ >> Team bonding << A grand don't come for free Last autumn, one day after training, Chelsea first-teamers were asked to stay behind for a presentation. A man was brought in and talked to them about a property investment offer overseas. The players were then given a couple of grand for listening, which left more than one of them a little mystified. It turned out that the property consultant had arranged the talk through a man claiming to be a representative of John Terry. And he'd handed over a six-figure sum for the "in". ------------------------------------------------------ An anagram of Chelsea's John Terry is Lecher Enjoys Trash. ------------------------------------------------------ >> Cashing in << It's all gold for Terry Remember that email going round a few weeks ago touting John Terry to brands and sponsors? Well, it seems that Riviera marketing had given Terry a wedge of cash to secure his image rights and realised they needed to do something fast to make back some money. Add in Terry going to the Sun (the paper who refused to keep quiet about his mum's shoplifting) to secure another 300 grand for writing columns, and he looks like a man who, despite the 150k salary a week, is in need of cash. As Kelvin Mackenzie said in the Sun today "How much money does he need? Or are those stories about his gambling debts true?" Wouldn't it be funnier if it was for paying off kiss and tell girls - Tiger Woods style. Or like a recent foreign Premiership hero, who has only managed to make sure his name is not synonymous with cheating by being very generous to girls and the media. Or at least that was the case back then. ------------------------------------------------------ Any girls out there expecting a Terry-fuelled payday should hurry to tabloids now. The first of Tiger Woods' mistresses was offered 150k by NoTW. The 12th? Not much more than a fish supper and bus fare. ------------------------------------------------------ >> Reign of Terry << Chelsea managers put in place John Terry is often blamed for hastening Mourinho's departure but a club insider tells us he could have played a part in Avram Grant's demise too. Alleged Thai-fancier Avram was attacked in the press by Chelsea defender Tal Ben Haim. Grant was not amused and Ben Haim found his first team opportunities somewhat limited. However, Ben Haim was mates with Terry who, we're told, made it clear to Grant that he wouldn't take too kindly if Ben Haim was dropped for long. It was not long after this that stories started to appear in the sports pages that Grant's number two, Steve Clarke, was effectively running the team. ------------------------------------------------------ So JT was sleeping with Wayne Bridge's girl. Poor old Wayne - he wasn't even first choice with his missus. ------------------------------------------------------ >> Once bitten << It's hard to be a football writer It must be difficult for footballer writers when they're put on the spot to take the moral high-ground. News of the World writer Rob Shepherd called for Terry to step down as England captain last weekend, "Terry did not break the law but he committed a cardinal sin of the dressing room." Rob Shepherd is, of course, himself no stranger to breaking the law. He was given a prison sentence in 2004 for biting someone's face after an argument in a bar in Beckenham. ------------------------------------------------------ JT has signed up to star in a new TV show. It's called Other Footballers' Wives. ------------------------------------------------------ >> Terry towelling << Once again, Germans get there first The JT/Wayne Bridge England issue has a German parallel. In the late 90s, controversial midfielder Stefan Effenberg had an affair with the wife of his Germany team-mate, Thomas Strunz. Strunz found out about Claudia's affair when he read a text message from Effenberg on his wife's phone. Effenberg married Claudia and they moved to the USA to get away from it all. Though not before publishing an autobiography which included some nice and mucky photographs of him and his new bride. *************** JT Special ends ********************** ------------------------------------------------------ The average cloud weighs 69,000 tonnes. ------------------------------------------------------ >> Celebrity Hijack << Han Solo to the rescue! Harrison Ford is due to fly in to Haiti today, with NGO Aviation for Humanity, the latest in a long line of celebrities getting in the way of trained medics and aid workers, sorry, we meant doing their bit. Leona Lewis flies in next week and James Cameron has also donated a plane for the aid airlift. ------------------------------------------------------ Tommy B, ex Blazin' Squad, is now the postboy at Virgin Media. ------------------------------------------------------ >> Scarey Carey << Casting director of the year nominee ccbaxter writes: "I auditioned Carey Mulligan (Oscar nominee for An Education) a couple of years ago for something. She's far, far more attractive in real life than she photographs with that rubbish short hair. I didn't give her the job, which means I can now add her to Emily Blunt, Abbie Cornish, Sam Worthington, James McAvoy and Keira Knightley on the list of people I've spectacularly failed to employ when given a chance." ------------------------------------------------------ Carey Mulligan was offered the role of Dr Who assistant, which eventually went to Catherine Tate. She apparently said no because Dr Who fans are too mentally obsessive. ------------------------------------------------------ >> Big Questions << Who is asking what this week Which former England sports star used to call up the pay-phones in the sixth-form boarding house of the nearby girls school and ask the girls to meet him for a drink in the local pub? There was only one rule. They had to wear a mini skirt. ------------------------------------------------------ David Duchovny of X-Files fame, has an unfinished PhD thesis titled "Magic And Technology In Contemporary Poetry And Prose." ------------------------------------------------------ >> Toeing the line << Ainsley Harriott is nice but odd CT Warrior writes: "About 3 years ago I was in a pub in Clapham and met Ainsley Harriott at the bar. He was extremely nice and down to earth nice and we got chatting. After buying each other a few rounds I asked him to tell me something interesting about him and he said. "I'm missing a toe on my left foot." ------------------------------------------------------ Andy Bell is going to be performing at European Gay Ski Week in March. ------------------------------------------------------ >> Blame Coco << Sting daughter "world's worst DJ" We all understand how the world of celebrity DJing works. Find a young, attractive female. Give them a CD or similar with mixed records on it. Er, that's it! At Vauxhall's ice skate last week Paloma Faith was somewhat put out when the sound system broke during her set (not surprisingly, as when the music came back on, it was as if the set started from the beginning again). Coco "Sting Jnr" Sumner's DJing skills also drew some complaints. But full credit to her, when some guy came up and asked to book her she answered, "I'm the world's worst DJ." ------------------------------------------------------ Strange that most articles about Paloma Faith seem to be under the impression she's 24. Being born on 21st July 1981 would make you 28, no? ------------------------------------------------------ >> Things that make you go hmmm << Take A Break, Columbian funerals, Matt Goss It’s a shame Katie Price and Alex Reid didn’t time their wedding a little better. They could have had Matt Goss serenade them on their honeymoon: http://www.mattgoss.biz/news-4/index.asp Comedy and music night at King's College to raise money for the Omid Foundation for abused women in Iran. Buy a ticket and get free entry to the after party: http://www.kclsutickets.com/eventinfo/78/KIS-presents-Jaam-e-Jam A hearse driver gets drunk in Bogota: http://www.shortnews.com/start.cfm?id=78927 Weebls-Stuff spoofs Britain's Got Talent and SuBo with gooey egg creatures: http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/Goo+Got+Talent+1/ Enjoy Take A Break's weird coverlines but too freaked out to buy the magazine? http://www.takeaweirdbreak.com/ Too much 3D and glossy movie overload? http://bit.ly/biIJ0l >> UK Top 40: Chart News << Jedward vs Fireflies for number one Are Jedward the new Soulwax? Even Vanilla Ice - writer of Ice, Ice Baby - didn't realise that his song would blend so seamlessly into Queen/Bowie's Under Pressure ("Theirs goes, 'Ding ding ding dingy ding-ding.' Ours goes, 'Ding ding ding ding dingy ding-ding.'") so they're obviously master-mixers. Perhaps when they release that version of Ghostbusters they did, they should mix it with Huey Lewis and The News: http://bit.ly/ccmDy9 >> End Bit << Stuff about Popbitch * Email stories, gossip: hello@popbitch.com * Subscribe or unsubscribe here: http://www.popbitch.com * Popbitch is published by Popdog Ltd. * Web hosting by: http://del.co.uk * Mail by aysabtu **************************************************** Thanks to: CL, SW, LM, AM, SW, NF, monstris, AM, JC, fo_shizzle, honk, theabominablehoman, thegingerprince, EA, TH, C, Ulysses, CM, DL, jacques_as_in_hattie (for the anagram) ************************************************** Old Jokes Home: Q: How many musos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: It's a pretty obscure number. You probably haven't heard of it. Still Bored? Wonder what kind of week John Terry's tranny lookalike must have had? A reminder: http://bit.ly/9CASS1Tags: popbitch mail
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