Popbitch

Bob Crow’s Beachwear

admin — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 15:52:46 +0000

**********************************************
Popbitch Popquiz returns for 2012!
1. Valentines Day Quiz Feb 14th
- avoid the pink-heart themed restaurants
Book last remaining seats/tables here:
http://www.wegottickets.com/event/153399
2. Post Valentines Day Quiz Feb 15th
- for all you lovers out there...
Book last remaining seats/tables here:
http://www.wegottickets.com/event/153400
The Player, Soho, 7.30pm
(Any queries to comp@popbitch.com)
**********************************************

"On a night out I would pull any of my
friends' trousers down" - Denise Welch

"Trying to work out if I'd rather wank
off a dead tramp under a warm waterfall
of dogshit for eternity, or be will.i.am
for a day" -  Theo from Hurts
-----------------------------------------------
POPBITCH           _     _ _
 _ __   ___  _ __ | |__ (_) |_ ___| |__
| '_ \ / _ \| '_ \| '_ \| | __/ __| '_ \
| |_) | (_) | |_) | |_) | | || (__| | | |
| .__/ \___/| .__/|_.__/|_|\__\___|_| |_|
|_|         |_|  02.02.12 ISSUE 580

Free every week: to subscribe/unsubscribe
go to http://www.popbitch.com
Send us stories - email: hello@popbitch.com
* Fred Durst's 60 day juice diet
* RIP Leslie Carter
* Charts: Alyssa Reid is number one
------------------------------------------------

       >> Pipes of peas <<
       Carnivorous crew run from Paul

    Paul McCartney was filming in Bermondsey
    Street last week and the street was
    jammed with trailers, including a very
    well-stocked catering truck. Being a
    McCartney production the catering was,
    of course, vegetarian only. The crew,
    however, were not.

    So at lunch, as soon as the star’s back
    was turned, they took one look at the
    rabbit-food and then legged it to the
    nearest pub to order steak.

------------------------------------------------
Spotted: David Miliband on the Northern Line.
Sat in a priority seat with his bag taking up
the seat next to him. Had to be told to move it.
------------------------------------------------

       >> Phone sex <<
       Su makes a tit of herself

    Su Pollard has an interesting little
    party trick. When appearing in shows,
    she likes to ruffle the feathers of
    other cast members by popping into
    their dressing room, pulling down
    her top and pretending to take phone
    calls on her tits. She lifts one up
    to speak into and leans in to use the
    other as a receiver. She generally
    'calls' her agent.

FYI: Su Pollard: http://www.supollard.co.uk/

------------------------------------------------
Glee's Ryan Murphy used to go out with Twilight
director Bill Condon. Murphy wrote a screenplay
about it when they split, Why Can't I Be Audrey
Hepburn? It was bought by Steven Spielberg.
------------------------------------------------

       >> Big Questions <<
       What people are asking this week

     Could it be true that Geri Halliwell
    originally had her eye on designing
    the swimwear for the British Olympic
    team in her Union Jack style - and
    only took up the much hyped Next
    dress project after her Olympic dream
    was quashed?

    Kristen Bell's fiancé hired a sloth for
    her birthday party - but what we want
    to know is, where can you hire a sloth?

**********************************************
The 'Throne' Spanking Paddle for Valentine's.
Handmade in English Walnut and silver.
A new standard for elegant kink. Scandalous:
http://www.smarterthan.co.uk
**********************************************

       >> Wheatgerm flavoured water <<
       Fred Durst is so rock n' roll

    Feeling bad that you haven't quite
    managed to stick to your New Year
    detox? Maybe you'll take solace in
    the fact that Fred Durst has struggled
    too. He started a tumblr documenting
    the progress of his 60 day juice diet
    but it hasn't been updated since
    January 12th and he'd already cheated
    twice by that point.

http://fred60.tumblr.com/

------------------------------------------------
A recent dining companion of Mariella
Frostrop's was heard opining that Mariella has
much better manners than Kirsty Young.
------------------------------------------------

       >> Dorset serial <<
       Plane stupid talk
  
Clarenceworley writes:
    "I sat next to a woman from Dorset on
    a flight from Barcelona into London
    who drunkenly admitted to having
    wanked off gangly ogg-monster Stephen
    Merchant.

    "He never called back apparently."

------------------------------------------------
Bob Crow was holidaying in the Maldives a couple
of weeks ago. True to his man of the people
principles he was wearing his Millwall shirt.
------------------------------------------------

        >> RIP Leslie Carter <<
        Backstreet sister remembered

    We were sad, but not that surprised,
    to hear that Leslie Carter, sister
    of BSB's Nick and Aaron, died this
    week, aged only 25, of a suspected
    overdose. As we always said, the
    Carters are the 21st century version
    of the Jackson clan - with pushy
    showbiz parents and a whole brood
    of messed-up children.

    Leslie, when only 14, had been earmarked
    by the family to be the new Britney or
    Christina. She got a $400k album deal
    with Interscope, and a single on the
    Shrek soundtrack.

    The album never got released. Poor
    Leslie wasn't cut out to be a pop
    superstar, had panic attacks and
    put on weight. (You can see how weirdly
    stretched her image was to try and
    hide this on her single, Like Wow.) 

    Knowing now that she tried to escape
    this world by joining an indie band,
    moving to Canada, marrying the drummer
    and having a baby, this Esquire article
    from 2001 about her single's videoshoot
    makes heartbreaking reading. RIP Leslie.
http://bit.ly/ztWXnS

------------------------------------------------
Benedict Cumberbatch hates his Sherlock haircut.
His favourite hairstyle was the long blond
floppy look he had in Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy.
------------------------------------------------

       >> Popbits <<
       Things we love this week
  
    1. A worthy addition to our series of
    how-did-that-get-made films - The FP.
    Two gangs compete for supremacy in the
    deadly arena of dance stage euromix
    competitions:
http://bit.ly/wHVKT7 

    2. What do you get if you cross Katy
    Perry's best track with OMD's best
    track? Teenage Gay. It's awesome:
http://bit.ly/wzGVU2

    3. Brilliant 90s pop medley:
http://bit.ly/wtY7VG

------------------------------------------------
The first song Moby learned to play on the
guitar was Crocodile Rock.
------------------------------------------------

       >> Don't Don't Ron Ron <<
       Wood if you could, but you can't

    Invitations were sent out this week to
    journalists for a preview screening of
    Sky Arts' new show on Ronnie Wood at
    Charlotte St Hotel. So far so normal.
    Except it came with the oddest caveats:

    That you couldn't report anything at all
    that was said at the screening.

    And on no account was anyone to try to
    talk to Ronnie Wood.

------------------------------------------------
The last Giants v Patriots Superbowl was won
by a Plaxico Burress score. He went on to be
even more famous for managing to shoot himself
in the leg in a nightclub.
------------------------------------------------

       >> Direktor General <<
       Spot the pattern baldness

    Our theory is that the BBC, like the
    Soviet Empire before it, is dictated
    from the top by the Hairy-Bald Theorum.
    The Director-General succession follows
    the same pattern as the Soviet leadership
    (ie, a slaphead is always followed by a
    hairy man).

    Soviet Union
    Lenin (baldy) - Stalin (hairy)
    Krushchev (baldy) - Brezhnev (hairy)
    Andropov (baldy) - Chernyenko (hairy)
    Gorbachev (baldy) - Yeltsin (hairy)
    Putin (baldy) - Medvedev (hairy)
    and probably Putin (baldy)

    BBC
    Alisdair Milne (hairy) - Sir Michael
    Checkland (balding) - John Birt (hairy)
    Greg Dyke (baldy) - Mark Byford (hairy)
    Mark Thompson (baldy)...

    If our suspicions are correct, this
    would seem to rule out early favourite
    in the betting, George Entwhistle.

See:
http://bit.ly/yaJQmP

------------------------------------------------
Alan Yentob's home WiFi network is called YENTOB.
------------------------------------------------

        >> Brother bother <<
        Let's hope Nic's efforts were rewarded

    Nicola McLean has been on This Morning
    this week to say how much she regrets
    going on Celebrity Big Brother.

    Ah well, sympathised Eamonn Holmes,
    perhaps the money for the show helped.
    Nicola said that it didn't, "but that's
    why I was doing it obviously, to try
    and help provide for my two little boys."

    Which is odd, as we're not even sure she
    got any money for it. The story going round
    the TV channel was that they hadn't
    originally selected her - but were
    impressed when she said that she was
    so keen to be on CBB she would even
    do it without pay.

------------------------------------------------
Last week’s number one album, + by Ed Sheeran
sold 20,607 copies - which is the lowest sales
for a chart-topping album since Sept 1995.
------------------------------------------------

        >> Men at work <<
        Funny names down under

    1. Two senior managers were forced out
    of Melbourne Convention Centre after
    claims of a catering scam... a Mr Burger
    and a Mr Bowles:
http://bit.ly/xHoGbB

    2. Complaints made about nudist gatherings
    at Peka Peka beach, New Zealand are being
    investigated by... Sergeant Bigwood:
http://bit.ly/zlnlYU

    3. Dogging at the car park of an Auckland
    Bowling club is being looked into by...
    Inspector Allcock:
http://bit.ly/zbScvW

**********************************************
Yes, you're a knobhead but I do love you! 
Valentines cards and loads of other goodies.
Cheaper than paying for an expensive
meal and much more fun.
http://www.deanmorriscards.co.uk/
**********************************************

       >> Things that make you go hmm <<
       Bin Laden, Mitt Romney, cute dormouse 

    Great alternative Valentine's Gifts
    and free UK postage:
http://www.missfoofoovonladygarden.com

    Do horses lie down to go to sleep?
http://bit.ly/wTbEnG

    The snoring dormouse:
http://bit.ly/yxmIQ4

    Thanks to the Observer for introducing
    us to young Romanian footballer Bin
    Laden Virtosu. And here he is:
http://bit.ly/wf1UqK

    Nice piece on drum and bass legend
    Andy C:
http://ind.pn/z3kXkI

    How long would it take Mitt Romney
    to earn your salary?
http://slate.me/w4wJOl

    RIP Universal amphitheatre -
    to make way for a Harry Potter ride:
http://bit.ly/w6bXqi

       >> Stuff about Popbitch <<

* Email us stories, gossip, otter pics:
hello@popbitch.com

* Subscribe or unsubscribe here:
http://www.popbitch.com

* Popbitch is published by Popdog Ltd.

* Mail by aysabtu

*********************************************
Thanks to: Gentlemanthug, CMH, TS, PB, PG,
OS, SC, NS, richjohnston, clarenceworley,
danceswithmustelid, celtiagirl, creatif,
hackdaniels, DG, inthepocket
*********************************************

Old Jokes Home
Q: What's invisible and smells of worms?
A: Bird farts.

Still Bored?
Our new favourite photo:
http://bit.ly/wRiDiN

Direktor General

admin — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 14:23:07 +0000

What do the leaders of Soviet Empire have in common with the BBC Director Generals?

CLUE: Take a look at the pattern of their hairlines…

Our new favourite photo

admin — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 11:30:37 +0000

For a long time, our favourite photograph has been this little snap of Frank Bruno shaking hands with the Yorkshire Ripper, Peter Sutcliffe, under the watchful eye of the late Sir Jimmy Savile.

However, we are delighted to announce that a new photograph has now come to challenge the throne.

Muhammed Ali, Hulk Hogan, Cyndi Lauper, Liberace and Wendi Richter. Obviously pre-Photoshop. Amazing.

Know of a better one? hello@popbitch.com

(via Mugbeezy)

Seriously, you’re going to want to see this WAY more than War Horse

admin — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 11:19:58 +0000

The FP

Gangs compete for territory by playing that silly dance-moves game you used to watch teens playing in the Trocadero…. Could any synopsis sound better?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojQrhqW4hX0

Happy Groundhog Day

admin — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 10:51:26 +0000

www.youtube.com/watch?v=xkW_ZkMtmlQ

Watch Phil comes out of his hole in Gobbler’s Knob live

National Geographic had rather a good article on Groundhog Day last year.

“In 1887 a group of groundhog hunters from Punxsutawney dubbed themselves the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club and declared their furry oracle, Punxsutawney Phil, the one and only “official” weather-prognosticating groundhog. The Punxsutawney ceremony originated around the same time.

More than a hundred years later, Punxsutawney Phil remains the star of Groundhog Day, though rivals such as Staten Island Chuck and Gen Beauregard Lee maintain regional fame.”

Best named bootleg of all time ever (and it doesn’t sound half bad either)

admin — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 12:06:14 +0000

Teenage Gay -- it’s what you get when you mix Katy Perry’s best track with OMDs best track.

Just stick it on repeat. Happy days!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wElHqZpHto

Ben How-ard Rock Cafe

gary ogden — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 09:11:55 +0000

Or something. I’m tired.

I saw Ben Howard at the Hard Rock Cafe the other night -- you try and think of a better headline.

If you haven’t heard of Ben Howard, then I suppose I’d better post a couple of songs so that you can get acquainted before I start harping on about someone that you haven’t heard of though, hadn’t I?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=dnxCxHLAqn8

www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8ccDb6n5Wg

There, got to know him? Well basically, he’s one of these modern singer-songwriter folk singers -- you could call him ‘nu-folk’ if you want, but then you would be an idiot. He’s got a familiar sound to fans of artists like Ed Sheeran and Mumford and Sons, because he sounds a bit like a mixture of the two -- songs that start off all nice, slow and melodic before gradually getting more excited and eventually climaxing with a lot of shouting and frantic guitar strumming and banging on drums and looking at the hot bass girl and smiling and laughing.

I enjoyed it. Especially as it was live -- subsequent listens to his album don’t necessarily evoke the same reactions that the frenetic in-the-flesh performance did, but on the night it was brilliant. Ben Howard and his band were pretty much flawless; his voice bellowing out to an unexpected volume without ever cracking or dropping out of tune, his unique guitar skills proving impeccable, and his fandabbydozy back-up group playing a host of different instruments to perfection. Although I wasn’t too happy with the sneaky hypnotism methods employed by that girl banging that drum really hard -- I don’t take too kindly to women making me fall in love with them against my will.

The gig was hosted by Absolute Radio, and held at the Hard Rock Cafe in London, which I’d never visited, despite being someone who collects Hard Rock Cafe T-Shirts (You collect Hard Rock Cafe T-Shirts? Cool, same here). Been to bare other ones though innit girls. Anyway, it was a perfect setting for Howard’s stripped down, raw set -- a mixture of the old and new; a prestigious location full of musical history housing a promising up-and-coming musician.

After the strength of this gig, Ben Howard has certainly converted one non-fan to his particular brand of pop music, and I -- OH FUCK I FORGOT TO GET A HARD ROCK CAFE T-SHIRT.

Snoring dormouse cuteness

admin — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 14:55:34 +0000

This video says it’s been up for a month.

That means we’ve gone a whole month without being able to watch this bundle of cuteness.

No wonder they say this is the best Monday of the year…

www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlS3w1GGE8g

“I’ll have fookin’ sex tonight, and everything”

admin — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 10:33:26 +0000

Irish horse racing trainer is very happy he won a big race. And says so, live on TV:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXfa2pZgH7w

Monday Morning 90s Megamix

admin — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 07:47:01 +0000

This guys is brilliant. Enjoy: