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What's the first thing the next US president should do?

33 replies

onthehushhush 0:00, reply

Declare a surrender in the War On Drugs

electric_goat 15:27, reply

Organise an elaborate "terrorist attack" on mainland US causing the deaths of thousands, whilst ensuring the arms contractors & illuminati keep cashing in on the suffering of millions.

Oh.

whats_the_beef_chief 15:17, reply

Insert cigars into the interns...

artificially_awake 14:27, reply

Come top of QOTD a-fucking-gain with another tepid picture joke voted for by all of you.

kps_jockstrap 14:26, reply

Selected highlights from "Polly Wolly Doodle" and "All The Nice Girls Love A Sailor"

quercusmarner 13:47, reply

have a potnoodle and a wank

sgtpeppersstoneyhardcoreband 13:01, reply

He should pronouce: "I am now the leader of one of the most honourable, dignified, nature-loving and free civilisations that has ever lived on this earth...

... plus the descendents of the bastards that stole it from them."

kunani 12:45, reply

make lauren vice president

lambanana 12:37, reply

A celebratory back-flip.

uncle_fester 12:32, reply

Put something in the constitution about Lindsay Lohan

wulf 12:24, reply

shoot himself

fayekorgazm 12:19, reply

Pay GBP10 for a login on here. POTD could then be put to use as a kind of presidential daily advisory service. I look forward to suggestions such as 'bum the vice president to death LOL' and 'rape rape rape rape rape' being implemented.

honk 12:14, reply

Forty acres and a mule all round.

twattybanjo 12:06, reply

Get Banksy in to spruce up the White House a little.

beryl_the_peril 11:54, reply

Get bummed by Madness

barry 11:19, reply

Execute Paris Hilton

electrogal 11:17, reply

Obama: Discuss race issues with Boris.

Clinton: Fuck an intern.

McCain: Appoint a gerontologist.

mike_hunt 11:10, reply

Call it a day.

popfiction 11:03, reply

Put whitey on the moon.

deep_stoat 10:42, reply

Put Dubya and Bliar on trial for war crimes. Second thing, s/he should use a Federal Decree to order Talking Heads to reform.

mrothko 10:39, reply

Begin his Inaugural Address with the words: "My niggaz...". And that's whether or not Obama wins.

grimly_fiendish 10:33, reply

Say to the Chief of Staff: "You put your god damn hand on that scanning screen, or I'll hack it off and put it on for you!"

arseface 10:11, reply

Body-pop, and then run a victory lap around America high-fiving everyone I met. Soundtrack by Bruce Springsteen.

too_fat_to_skate 10:09, reply

First thing he needs to do is to tell the Israelis that if they don't start talking properly to the Arabs then he's going to cut all aid off at the knees. If it wasn't for this issue most of the problems in the middle east wouldn't exist. However in the meantime they need to chuck so much money at developing hydrogen powered cars that it will be all anyone leaving college wants to do. Put the space programme on hold, cut back the defence budget, put a tax on NFL merchandise anything, just get fuel cells viable now. Otherwise he might just as well drape his wife in a veil, get his prayer mat out and start chanting towards Mecca because thats the only other altenative long term.

roger_mycock 9:51, reply

Avoid being assassinated.

opus 9:44, reply

Bomb Yorkshire.

mrsix 9:43, reply

Do a one-fisted salute and paint the White House black. Yeeeeaaaahh boyeee! Even if it is McCain.

spank_daley 9:40, reply

Keep Rockin' in the Free World

barry 9:09, reply

**Cue Vocoder Voice** "BREAKDANCE" **Go Obama, It's ya birthday; go Obama, it's ya birthday**

7zark7 7:13, reply

Have a nice hot chocolate. It gets cold in Washington that time of year and having to do the speeches outside is rather silly.

tamara_bumpdeeay 4:43, reply

Get bummed to madness

lennie 1:20, reply

Sign up to the Euro and love Iran.

webmong 0:48, reply

Bomb Iran. If they succeed in replacing the dollar with the euro as the de facto oil currency, we're all fucked. And kill Leonardo De Caprio.

muzar 0:27, reply