Great question! Well, I'd have David Irving heading up the Ministry of Justice (will help blow away the cobwebs), George Melly as Secretary for Culture (R.I.P.), Nigella Lawson for Home Office Goddess (good on domestic affairs plus she could make cupcakes for everybody at PMQs), Vernon Kay will lead the Foreign Office (in the hope he dies in a terrorist attack, incinerating everything apart from his comicbook teeth and epoxy hairdo), Adam Hart Davies for transport (because no-one has looked more regal in pink lyrca on a girl's pushbike), Keith Richards will be Health Sec (there's a man who knows the secret to eternal life), for Defense let's have that coughing Major who cheated on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? (why not?), Kirsty and Phil can have Trade and Industry (use Phil as scapegoat, Kirsty as cabinet concubine), and to round it all up, Gordon Brown as chancellor - it would piss him off and as my mother always said, "If you break something then you fucking well fix it."