Point at Peckham and piss myself laughing at the sad sacks of shit still living in the past.
Probably pretend to be a right-on socialist and see if I can score some sweet sweet leftie poon. It's what she would've wanted.
I'll stop and take a moment to remember all she did for the country.
hack_daniels 15:41,
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make sure I don't watch the TV for a week, considering how many braying twats will be eulogising about how wonderful she was - will they allow anyone on to slag her off I wonder
Mourn that she couldn't have lasted another year of addled incontinence.
Deckchair, tub of popcorn and a few tinnies on the lawn at home in Leeds. I'll sit back, log in and revel in 8 hours of PB oldskool tomfoolery.
I will have billy_squier's monologue printed on a T shirt. Maybe one of Rik Waller's.
For the first and only time in my life, I will ring a national radio phone in and explain in rational terms how and why she destroyed the social fabric of this country forever, how she died with blood on her hands, and why the eulogies Brown and Blair will doubtless deliver are stains on whatever is left of their character. Then I will go to a pub with a decent jukebox and get fucking shitfaced, albeit joylessly so.
If it's during the week, go to work as usual. If it's at the weekend, then the usual routine of walking the dog, then beers in the afternoon and evening. She might have been hated, but I'll be fucked if I'm going to give her any credence by upsetting my routine.
Bite my lip in front of the in-laws, for fear of offending (I know!), and stay out of it with everyone else, for fear of being bored to death.
Find a deserted pub with honk, electric goat and anyone else who vows to stay off the subject and stay there for several days, discussing food, music, television, art, and anything other than politics.
simon_cowell 10:53,
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The scheming bitch has taken all the fun out of that event by turning into a senile demented bat. Oh well, there's is always Portillo's death from arse cancer to look forward to.
edmor 10:45,
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According to the class war activists 6pm Trafalgar square the saturday after she croaks is the place to be, its been arranged for years.
hypnogimp 10:33,
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Remember her as she once was...
Absolutely nothing. I'm sure in student unions up and down the land there'll be 'hilarious' effigy burnings and the like, a nice diversion from the fact that the Tories are about to get in again - far worse than the memory of a long politically-impotent relic from another era.
honk 10:07,
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I'll find myself turning down Spank's invitation to have a celebratory drink with some minors.
rush to Scotland and do it properly. you think the English hate her!?
throw her rotting corpse down a sewer
Get tooled up
Try and avoid radio, TV and the newspapers for a few days. Can you imagine how much tedious bollocks we are going to be subjected to, the right-wing cheerleaders telling us how wonderful she was and the left-wing listing all her dreadful failings? I fear even Popbitch might descend into "She was a cow" "Wasn't!" "Was!" etc etc.
Disposing of the evidence and getting my alibi in order.
Spend all day in the pub. Unless she dies on a Friday, in which case I'll spend all weekend in the pub, and any braying poshos can eat a bag of dicks.
End up in a row with some moron who will ask why I'm celebrating, then tell me she was the finest leader since Churchill...
friendlyfryer 9:09,
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I'd need to find someone else to become the main focus of all my hatred. With no worthy successor i may need to kill myself.
splut_cunker 8:51,
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drive a stake through her 'heart' to make sure the evil bitch isn't coming back. again....
be quite disappointed...i've had her on my deadpool list for years. because she has been refusing to go, i left her off this year. i'm the only schmuck in the pub betting on her NOT to die. so come maggs...one more year!!
Dump the Browning pistol, wash off any residue, run over my alibi one more time...
grimly_fiendish 0:59,
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