Sign up here to get the email every Thursday • Email address:

(22)

Body week: If you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done?

22 replies

deep_stoat 0:00, reply

About once a month I used to receive two spam emails. They were from the same source and always arrived together. The first said, "BANJO! DO YOU WANT A LARGER PENIS!!??" and the second said, "BANJO! DO YOU WANT LARGER BREASTS!!??". I could never decide...

twattybanjo 22:28, reply

as long as these guys do the operating...i'm game for anything

sgtpeppersstoneyhardcoreband 19:14, reply

the handle fixed on my blue bucket.

bogarts_lung 17:55, reply

Adamantium motherfucking claws. Snik!

grumble_mag 15:17, reply

A chimney, vents and filters so I can continue to smoke.

vogue 14:21, reply

i am actually seriously contemplating getting a tit job... i'd like a matching pair that hovered somewhere above my belly button rather than one the size and shape of a popped lemon competing with the other which is somewhere along the size of a football...fucking goddamned breast feeding those brats has RUINED me I tell thee, ruined me.

minky_chunky 14:18, reply

The lot.

deep_stoat 12:13, reply

I'd like a fin fitted please, and gills

toast_not_ghosts 11:26, reply

I'd have breast implants put in. But either side of my shaft so I can give myself a titwank whenever I want.

spank_daley 11:01, reply

I want tits bigger than my head.

dawnsyndrome 10:50, reply

I'd swap my flange for Barrowman's wang.

edmor 10:47, reply

Get this Nosey Cunt fixed. *Stares*

morning_star 10:02, reply

never never never!! have you SEEN a facelift or a boob job being done?

glitterkitty 10:01, reply

Get a reduction. Maybe down to M50's cosy size.

ian_credible 9:41, reply

I'd get lasers shooting out of my third eye.

sydbarretthomes 9:23, reply

I would have Jackson's face grafted to mine. After all, he spent a lot of money on it and it's going spare anyway.

arseface 9:18, reply

whatever the fuck it took to look exactly like Jake Gyllenhaal.

thegingerprince 8:50, reply

I'd have everyone else made much more attractive.

crack_pot_pipe 8:43, reply

I'd have Erin O'Connor grafted onto my toes.

deidre 8:06, reply

A GBP10,000 reduction off my Mastercard.

jesusandmaryjane 8:03, reply

If I had been given plastic surgery, I'd say "this is shit, buy me a fucking Wii"

7zark7 7:45, reply

The pointy ear. One ear is Spock-shaped but sadly I have no Vulcan death grip, which would have made school life easier.

opus 1:30, reply