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What's the most underwhelming autograph you own?

44 replies

honk 9:17, reply

I have Martin Kemp's on the back of a Phones4U receipt and Matt Dawson's on a napkin. I asked for neither

glitterkitty 20:24, reply

Only ever got one autograph, Charlotte Green. Don't know where it is now but still would, the saucy little minx.

opus 18:36, reply

Bob Rust, YTV weatherman from the 90's. Got it on a visit to Countdown along with Carol Vorderman's. Got Richard Whitely's when I walked into his dressing room and there was an awkward moment whilst we both wondered what would happen next. IDNSHFerret.

cantinghoare 17:48, reply

Either Ainsley Harriet's on a 7" record when he had his band The Calypso Twins.. or assorted county cricket players from the mid - 80's..

jonnyteasmaid 17:36, reply

Jilly Cooper's, some bloke gave it to me to try and get me to marry him. Fucking weirdo.

spank_daley 17:04, reply

A Kinky Friedman book signed by the author.

edmor 16:05, reply

A mate arranged for me to receive a signed publicity shot from this lot: www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8j31JzDSFQ

raskol 15:46, reply

my mum got an autograph from uri gellar at a cutley trade fair. he was perfectly pleasant apparently.

armstrong 15:39, reply

Both members of 'Bardo', (Eurovision non-winners c. 1983)

pooky 15:26, reply

"Bobby Hundreds"

touchmyspastic 15:14, reply

Tom Coyne of Midlands Today. On a hymn sheet for Songs of Praise.

sputnik1 14:40, reply

I did have a collection of Speedway riders of the 70's autographs but I recently sold it on fleabay for GBP34.00. The only other autographs I have are Gordon Murray & Iain Banks and both of those guys are rather good at what they do, so are not underwhelming in the slightest. Sorry.

roger_mycock 14:24, reply

Rod, Jane and Freddy.

mrs_ivy_trellis 13:54, reply

Terry Sue Pat a.k.a Benny from Grange Hill

7zark7 13:54, reply

Either that or my copy of Catcher In The Rye signed by John Lennon.

popfiction 13:49, reply

rolf harris, also a pic drawn by him that he had to spoil by drawing a puddle of piss on it. he was my hero until then, the greasy haired cunt.

shagpile_perm 13:49, reply

I have Rusty Lee's autograph. Surely that trumps everything?

jeffjaffacake 13:39, reply

Sarah Greene. In fact, I own about 20 of them, some made out to imaginary people who also lived at my address. I spent much of my early childhood trying to decide whether I would marry her or Heather Thomas out of The Fall Guy when I grew up.

ccbaxter 13:24, reply

Friend who was scriptwriting on Enders at the time got me a signed photo of Ian Aspinal (Mubbs from Planet Holby). He put 'Your (sic) the most wonderful woman in the world". Still would though. Oh yes.

auntie_betty 13:14, reply

I went to a TOTP ehmmm quite a long time ago GYAC Thomas Dolby as doing Blinded me with Science. All I left with was the autographs of all members of the band Child. FFS even Racey would have been better than that.

jonmac 13:02, reply

A signed Tony Green pic with him holding a bendy bully with the immortal words "come and have a look at what you could of won"

as well as a signed bewitched pic with all the girls resplendent in denim...

brooklynlion 13:01, reply

Michael Winner's takes some beating. It's on a printed card that says 'thanks for writing to him/entering a competition' and the signature is written in blue felt tip at the bottom - it's a line with occasional bumps in it, certainly no noticeable letters, and could easily have been written holding the pen between the writer's toes.

onthehushhush 12:41, reply

A so-called friend got me a signed postcard of the Cheeky Girls for my birthday.

dawnsyndrome 12:37, reply

A signed copy of the John Barrowman Autobiography - also signed by his mum.

ptbear 12:34, reply

Jason Donovan. My sister gave me his signed autobiography as a Christmas present a couple of years ago.

monkeyhat 12:07, reply

It's a toss-up between the pilot of an SR-71 Blackbird I got at an airshow when I was 7, or Bill Beaumont.

honk 12:04, reply

David O'Leary's signature on a Leeds Utd V Arsenal programme.

whats_the_beef_chief 12:01, reply

Darth Vader's. He was in Gamley's toy shop in Dover. Might not have really been him.

silencer 11:48, reply

dear horsespider... gordon's ALIVE! yours, brian blessed... (actually, it's my most cherished autograph)...

horsespider 11:42, reply

Russell Grant, signed on a paper picnic plate.

fayekorgazm 11:24, reply

I have a collection of postcards from lulu that she sent me when I was five. Turns out they weren't from her at all but from my mother. I did wonder how she always knew where I'd be on holiday.

deep_stoat 11:15, reply

Declan McManus the cunt didn't even write his real name.

whitemaninhammersmithpalais 10:35, reply

Someone from folky pub band "The Houghton Weavers". For a long time I thought his name was "Bert White" but after a few years I took a closer look and that bit actually said "Best Wishes"

chelsearentboy 10:26, reply

Norris McWhirter. It seemed like a big deal at the time.

muttleee 10:16, reply

Helen Worth

toadhall 10:09, reply

My mum used to write to celebrities asking for signed photographs. She once got one from David 'Kid' Jensen and gave it to me because I "liked pop music."

stan_ogdens_nutgone_flake 10:08, reply

Stephen Hawking. It's barely a dribble, the lazy cunt.

spank_daley 10:08, reply

Ugo Monye

bigkidsmademedoit 10:03, reply

Michael Rodd. From when I was a contestant on 'Screen Test' Fucking have that...

awaitsinevitableabuse 9:58, reply

Christy Brown

plasticflamingo 9:38, reply

Yours. Although I have just photoshopped it into the 'acceptance' section of a restraining order, banning you from ever setting QOTD's again... so it may have some value, after all.

crack_pot_pipe 9:36, reply

hypnogimp 9:32, reply

Mary Chapin Carpenter. she's a singer. :-(

thegingerprince 9:31, reply

W. K. Kellogg

jesusandmaryjane 9:24, reply