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If you were going to top yourself, how would you do it?

22 replies

onthehushhush 0:00, reply

"Dahlinks, izimple, jast reeech for TeeVee remote, and you're zere !"

fayekorgazm 16:40, reply

I'd go to Glasgow and say to the judge, "I'm like honey to a swarm of bees". I'd continue about my review of Glasgow, "hardly a haven for models"

I'm sure that would get me hung...

lambanana 15:50, reply

Suicide bomb GMTV

whats_the_beef_chief 15:26, reply

I'd throw myself of a high bridge. That way, there's no pain or any chance of fucking it up.

gloria_huniford 12:35, reply

Wardrobe door & electrical flex, neck. Binbag, head. Stockings, legs. Orange, mouth. Location, Chiswick.

mike_hunt 12:28, reply

Make it look like an accident. Less guilt and more insurance for my folks.

curlywurly 11:43, reply

Make it through the X Factor stages to the final, which, with my voice I could easily blow them away. Then, in celebration as I win, I would approach the judges desks, and with my body strapped with explosives I would literally blow them away.

weeble 11:41, reply

If I could top myself I'd be in the circus

toadhall 11:00, reply

Spectacularly.

deep_stoat 10:41, reply

I'd Ouroboros myself.

dawnsyndrome 10:41, reply

Iceskating to death

Triple axel, double toe loop into oblivion

Goodbye cruel world

toast_not_ghosts 10:32, reply

I never leave the house bare-headed. I haz Clarss

mrs_ivy_trellis 10:24, reply

Licked to death by kittens.

stan_ogdens_nutgone_flake 10:09, reply

I can't be topped. Deal with it.

spank_daley 9:41, reply

along the vein, not across ...

deidre 9:36, reply

I would express my concerns about claims made in a recent Government dossier, in secret, to Andrew Gilligan

mrsix 9:14, reply

Death by cop.

awaitsinevitableabuse 8:38, reply

Borrowed sports car, alpine cliff, Vanessa Feltz trapped in the boot so people will think well of me.

aristocat 7:40, reply

Sports car? You'd need a pick-up truck at least...

electric_goat 8:41, reply

I would strap myself to Jeremy Kyle and throw myself off the nearest cliff.

muttleee 7:11, reply

A flake, raspberry sauce, hundreds and thousands.

raskol 7:10, reply

Insulin overdose. Neat, tidy, quick, comfortable.

bitterqueen 5:33, reply