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Animal Week: What was your first pet? What was it's name? How did it die?
32 replies
When I was 6 or 7, I found a fuzzy caterpillar in the garden, and made a home for it out of a matchbox. I took it to school with me, but forgot all about it and only remembered at the end of the day - when I found a squashed matchbox in my pocket, filled with dead caterpillar.
Dog. Rusty. Got put down after it mauled another dog to death. There was blood everywhere.
Ram, called Masher. He was extremely aggressive towards people but fine with me. Reasonably good at football, favouring his head and liked digestive biscuits. I made a harness for him so he could pull my go-kart around. Sold to market after a few years and fetched a record price. Could still be alive for all I know, although I doubt it.
It was a goldfish called Mungo, and he died when mum changed the water in his stinking bowl by running the hot tap into it. I then got another goldfish, imaginatively called Mungo which went the same way. You can't say my bro didn't have warning when he left her in charge of his terrapins, the poor little fuckers.
Cat. Flur - Younger brother wanted to call it Flower after a cuddly toy duck he was fond of at the time, but that was far too gay for a tomcat so the parents settled on an amalgamation of furry and the French for flower, which now I think about it is just as gay. Headbutted a moving van.
Arthur. Hamster. He got a tumour and blew up like a tennis ball. Apparently they don't operate on hamsters. He was a little cunt anyway, so while I cried at the time I soon got over it. I was 28.
