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How would you improve the British press?

24 replies

onthehushhush 0:00, reply

Starting with Liz Jones, flog one journo a day until they up their game.

handrearedboy 17:28, reply

sputnik1 16:32, reply

All reports to be written in a he said/she said format by those actually there at time.

blackkettle 16:17, reply

Kill it with fire

curlywurly 15:32, reply

every page of every paper to be filled with naked pictures of the Fassdong and ASkars

glitterkitty 15:26, reply

Newspapers should cost GBP5. People expect quality writing & stories & not the shit they are shovelled on a daily basis.

There should also be a 90% tax on any money paid to cunts for their stories

lennie 14:54, reply

Allow phone snooping. I enjoyed all those stories and I think everyone else did too. I actually don't really care where they get their stories from, just as long as they're filthy. I suggest this as a good read and has some wonderful tips on getting the muckiest stories possible:

dawnsyndrome 14:27, reply

Get them to employ the legions of self-righteous and morally flawless moaning cunts who are journalism experts despite spending 99% of their time being moany cunts on teh internet.

muttleee 13:37, reply

Independent PCC with compulsory membership for all publications, no super-injunctions or libel tourism. More tits obnov

mrs_ivy_trellis 12:49, reply

Laminate Page 3

spank_daley 12:12, reply

Perhaps journalists and their editors could be punished for breaking the law? Nah, only joking!

bubastis 12:02, reply

I think that newspapers should add comments sections after each article on their website. That way retired, right-wing conspiracy theorists could prosecute pointless arguments with earnest, left-wing, female politics students from regional universities, that do little else but prove that neither of them has had sex for years. Oh, and the Daily Telegraph should have more tabloid content. And pictures of tits Nigella Lawson.

plasticflamingo 11:31, reply

Can't improve on the Corby 7700.

mrsix 10:33, reply

Relaunch page 7 fella

toadhall 10:26, reply

Make whining illegal.

deep_stoat 10:17, reply

Two versions of all print media. One at face value and one priced at 30%. The cheap version includes ads, promos, PR driven puff pieces (plus C List/ TOWIE 'news' stories) and has a cigarette style warning on the front saying 'You're About To Be Mentally Ass Raped'. News International would be forced to give away all media free for past indiscretions. Jordan's version would come with a tenner on the front & a hand written apology from Max Clifford.

barrakas 9:50, reply

Stop reading it.

arry_womb 9:48, reply

bubastis 8:58, reply

Relaunch The News Of The World. Dirty vicars must be getting away with *murder* just at the moment...

electric_goat 8:34, reply

DAT51 (High strength â-Titanium alloy) with improved press workability

powermaster 8:33, reply

Throw Piers Morgan into a cell full of man rapists with a bottle of PCP & a pair of pliers & a blow torch....here's Jenny Hill at a school in Wigan!

whats_the_beef_chief 8:16, reply

Make all photographs that have been altered by photoshopping or radical cropping to have a M placed in the corner - a small step but a giant leap for greater accuracy in reporting. Same goes for advertorial so we can at last see Jordan as she really is. Oh. On second thoughts...

beaverwastemanagement 8:02, reply

Better to look at the scratter IMHO. Good foundation, right there.

father_gadd 6:48, reply

While it's tempting to say nuke the site from orbit, a good step would be stories that are proven to be false should have retractions published with exactly the same page space and position.

opus 6:04, reply