Television: Surf the internet on it.

Computer: Watch TV on it.

angry_anteater Tue 31 Jan 1:00, (Answer / reply)

Normal toilet paper spat onto makes a great inexpensive wipelet. Stick that up your polished ringpiece and smoke it dignity-vacuum cunt Dawn Porter. Still would mind, only now I'd rim her too.

spank_daley Tue 31 Jan 12:24, (Answer / reply)

Well the wife could try washing up for starters

rick_gassko Tue 31 Jan 11:04, (Answer / reply)

You can use a Chair leg as a rectal thermometer. Apparently.. All White up the back passage there!

mrsix Tue 31 Jan 0:13, (Answer / reply)

Ozzy: Hammers, irons, even telephones are all great objects for bludgeoning

ian_credible Tue 31 Jan 10:23, (Answer / reply)

A shovel: Beating Noel Fielding to death.

deep_stoat Tue 31 Jan 10:49, (Answer / reply)

Use an internet message board, such as this one to post bitchy pop information and gossip

pink_oboe Tue 31 Jan 10:28, (Answer / reply)

Disabled parking bays: A handy-sized space to park a Chelsea tractor

sputnik1 Tue 31 Jan 17:54, (Answer / reply)

If we are lucky one day us mongs will get to use our cocks for sex.

sec Tue 31 Jan 8:28, (Answer / reply)

novels: read them. not just kill spiders with them.

blackkettle Tue 31 Jan 11:05, (Answer / reply)

Ed Miliband could be repurposed as a politician.

bubastis Tue 31 Jan 12:38, (Answer / reply)

Bacon slicer: Instead of preparing the world's best breakfast, use instead to negotiate with a certain advertising person who's overly concerned with our coverage of his client. Tongue first.

opus Tue 31 Jan 4:36, (Answer / reply)

Using an iPod to kill a Chinese person. Step 1: Buy it.

bubastis Tue 31 Jan 9:08, (Answer / reply)

dawnsyndrome Tue 31 Jan 22:09, (Answer / reply)