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Popbitch Book

After eight years of weekly emails, we decided to do a book. It's a Christmas gift book/annual.

This is what it looked like when we started: 208 post-it notes on our office wall: Book Photos

And this is what it looks like now!

book jacket

A look inside

Book Photos

Book Photos Tallest Pet

What you'll find in the book

Blind Items

A dozen of our favourite blind items from over the years are illustrated using a family of woollen dolls. The dolls were knitted by Katie at our publishers Random House. After a while the photographer started to believe they were "looking at him funny". Blind item - early prototype

Book Photos

AND for the very first time, the Popbitch book will reveal answers to 150 Big Questions.

Knit your Own Otter

We couldn't find a pattern to knit an otter so we invented one.

Otter 1

The first knitted otter

To make your own otter you'll have to buy the book for the pattern. Best self-knitted otter photo received by Christmas wins a prize. Extra marks for an unusual setting...

Siegfried and Roy

Siegfried and Roy - the Reconstruction

"It's very rude, and it's very funny. For reasons I cannot quite explain, I've only to look at its reconstruction - starring a cuddly toy, and two plastic dolls - of the moment when Montecore, the white tiger belonging to the Las Vegas stars Siegfried and Roy, turned on Roy and tried to eat him, to break into childish laughter."

The Observer 5 Oct 2008

Chin Faces

Inspired by the Blue Peter 1983 annual, a group of popbitchers decided to get drunk, balance things on their chins and reveal their inner celebrity:

Chin Face: John McCririck has eyes.

From the book

How to make a chin face:

Things you will need:

Face paint

Things to make eyes from (licorice allsorts, stick on eyes)

Wigs, hair extensions

Accessories - we used mini hats, jewelry, cigarettes, sunglasses....

A willing chin

A table to lie on.

1. Place your volunteer with their head hanging over the end of the table. Inspect their chin, and think about what celebrity it might resemble. 2. Once you have an idea of who you're trying to make it look like, draw on eyes above their chin on the skin of the neck. Leave enough room for step 3. You can add eyebrows. 3. Draw on nostrils slightly below the edge of the chin.

4. Add accessories. 5. Slightly underneath their nostrils, use a piece of fabric, a shirt or even a towel to cover up the rest of the face.

6. Take photos and send them in to letting us know who you're attempting to be. The best chin face will be put up on the home page.

Animal Photos

Animals in the book

Many animals are in the book, this one is not. But we like him.

There's something inside for everyone (as long as they are insane) - fun for all the family

For Granny: Knit Your Own Otter

For Grandpa: The Greylords: Popbitch salutes the wildest OAPs

For Mum: Celebrity Cockwatch: our cut-out-and-use guide to the biggest stars of today.

For Dad: The History of Popbitch. It has proper Latin in it 'n all.

For The Kids: Billie Piper and her amazing time-travelling rabbit comic strip


PLUS Orc or Rawk: can you tell your Norwegian death-metallers from your Tolkienesque hobbit-botherers? your guide to how to have sex with a dolphin; Pop's greatest Plumbers revealed; How celebrities poo; the return of Chad Wegkamp and his unfeasibly large testicles; Spot the Nick Cave and much, much more!

What you won't read in the book

Some excerpts from the libel reading...

"...Suggestion (admittedly tongue in cheek but sensitive subject) that this was deliberately marketed to paedophiles???

"...understand there were links to sites on original message board showing conclusively both involved in S&M?"

"Would edit to read - living in a haze of either vodka, gak or platitudes"

"Eric Sykes has been married for many years!"

"Delete unless public/publicised references to foreskins/lack of"

"Change to 'used his thumb and first finger'"

"Note 'reportedly' doesn't protect against a libel claim".

"Is OK if he is known for being boring"

"Men seem to find THAT far more upsetting than any other claim!"